Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
nathan-squiersPoems
In this world I cannot hide; All the monsters are inside, And they eat me alive... But I survive--yea, I get another day-- To see all the ways I terrified, And victimized (it's in their eyes), In my haste to survive... Yea, I get another day... Another day to waste away So I can claim my own today, When there's no two ways to say today That I'm no further than I was yesterday. The monsters inside who live to prey Are praying I'll plea for another day; They're laughing--they're jeering--when I say, That I'll treat their gift some other way... They laugh and jive while I'm eaten alive, Because it's my self-deceit on which they thrive. They wait inside--I cringe and hide-- And swear that my new day will be new. But we both know it's not true... Yea, I get another day... Another day to waste away on ways to stay; Ways to stay away from just another day. So I tell them now--I tell them how-- I'll be someone different... How I'll strive further, Push harder. How I'll love myself like my mother-- How I'll show truer love to others-- And feel a greater bond with everyone and everything... Yea, I'll tell them the same old thing; A regular circus; all three rings... A jester I digest to puke up lies just to justify Why I somehow deserve another day alive... Yea, I get another day in this world From which I cannot hide, Because the monsters I blame--the monsters inside-- Are just pieces of me consumed by pride. So what outlet do I have from me? What chance is there for dignity when all of me Hungers for misery from the rest of me? It's those parts of me that haunt me-- What the **** do I want from me?!-- ... ... ... ... ... ... Unless it's not to be in misery. Unless it's not in me to berate me, But, instead, to motivate me; liberate me. What if the monsters in me are torturing me, So that the lies I feed them become reality? It's not deceit, I see; it's the truths in me that push me to push me each day, I see. Just one more day... I see. Because it's in this world I cannot hide, That I've been hidden to who I am inside; Hidden from the oaths that I commit, Just to waste away and then forfeit. Just one more day... I've been begging--feeding--for another day; another bore. But now I'll beg and feed for something greater; something more: Another day.
0
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 3:20 PM UTC
Another Day
In this world I cannot hide; All the monsters are inside, And they eat me alive... But I survive--yea, I get another day-- To see all the ways I terrified, And victimized (it's in their eyes), In my haste to survive... Yea, I get another day... Another day to waste away So I can claim my own today, When there's no two ways to say today That I'm no further than I was yesterday. The monsters inside who live to prey Are praying I'll plea for another day; They're laughing--they're jeering--when I say, That I'll treat their gift some other way... They laugh and jive while I'm eaten alive, Because it's my self-deceit on which they thrive. They wait inside--I cringe and hide-- And swear that my new day will be new. But we both know it's not true... Yea, I get another day... Another day to waste away on ways to stay; Ways to stay away from just another day. So I tell them now--I tell them how-- I'll be someone different... How I'll strive further, Push harder. How I'll love myself like my mother-- How I'll show truer love to others-- And feel a greater bond with everyone and everything... Yea, I'll tell them the same old thing; A regular circus; all three rings... A jester I digest to puke up lies just to justify Why I somehow deserve another day alive... Yea, I get another day in this world From which I cannot hide, Because the monsters I blame--the monsters inside-- Are just pieces of me consumed by pride. So what outlet do I have from me? What chance is there for dignity when all of me Hungers for misery from the rest of me? It's those parts of me that haunt me-- What the **** do I want from me?!-- ... ... ... ... ... ... Unless it's not to be in misery. Unless it's not in me to berate me, But, instead, to motivate me; liberate me. What if the monsters in me are torturing me, So that the lies I feed them become reality? It's not deceit, I see; it's the truths in me that push me to push me each day, I see. Just one more day... I see. Because it's in this world I cannot hide, That I've been hidden to who I am inside; Hidden from the oaths that I commit, Just to waste away and then forfeit. Just one more day... I've been begging--feeding--for another day; another bore. But now I'll beg and feed for something greater; something more: Another day.
So I'd recently fallen into a rather deep depression that ate up a few of my days with a bunch of stupid, morbid questions that, to be blunt, I'd already answered to myself years ago. But that's sort of what the whole clinical thing is, ain't it: being snagged in a self-inflicted mental net over and over while you feel yourself and others staring in thinking "The hell is wrong with this person?" Well, I finally pulled myself out of it (with the help of some truly awesome support from my colleagues and readers <3 ) and I've decided to focus more time and effort on my writing. So here's a fresh-from-depression poem. I'll also be sharing a bunch of new content on my FB author page at https://www.facebook.com/Nathan.Squiers (including updates on the book-to-movie process for my Crimson Shadow series). Many thanks for all the support & comments from my HP peeps; I do what I do 'cuz y'all keep me motivated. Much love <3
#depression#life#anxiety#demons#survival#struggle#inner#anguish#twloha
nathan-squiers
Written by
nathan-squiers
American
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 3:20 PM UTC
Request permission to use this poem