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moonqueenPoems
and it’s my worst nightmare there’s no humanity in your eyes no warmth in your flesh have i begged for this? i chose wrong taking for granted the ways this game might change a twist of rules a banishment of choices a destruction of agreements what were all the decisions i made for? do i lack any will at all? are my choices not even my own? i fail to grasp a single shard of life in the collapsing reality i am unable to obtain a sliver of self, of power, of will as it bursts around me i’m on my knees barely breathing i must be dreaming visions flash before my eyes hot red beams bore into my skin from above all there is is destruction all there is is death touch me or don’t, i said there are no hands to hold me now no vessel to capture me no defenses and no hope without hopes, without shared understanding and a direction this is what becomes of heroes this is what becomes of harlots pirates and prostitutes in my memory curse me, mock me i feel nothing of it i am not floating, i am not sailing the stars are out of reach, i am beneath all matter there is an unforgiving blackness all around giving way to more vicious palettes; a dark whispering grey echoing tones of a dying sunset and blood stains from centuries ago in my mind i am running i am escaping towards the light but all i feel is gravel beneath me rough and real slate, threatening the devil is a painter the canvas is smeared and ripped, dripping red and grey and black beneath me it is red and grey it is hopelessness half is a haunting color that brings images of that menacing light the evil tearing me limb from limb bloodshed another tone symbolizes an uncertain frame of time not a forever no time at all, perhaps it is pain, it is ashes the whispers of the fallen fill my lungs and i am on the verge of sinking down through the gravel i endure the red beams and raise my gaze hoping for some break in the darkness a single speck of starlight, a gasp of warmth but in your eyes i can only see the world at its end, flames and the desperate wilting of all that is good speechless and breathless and hopeless more than wounded i am finished, the die is cast but it is not over
0
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
souls have no place here; and the eyes always lie
and it’s my worst nightmare there’s no humanity in your eyes no warmth in your flesh have i begged for this? i chose wrong taking for granted the ways this game might change a twist of rules a banishment of choices a destruction of agreements what were all the decisions i made for? do i lack any will at all? are my choices not even my own? i fail to grasp a single shard of life in the collapsing reality i am unable to obtain a sliver of self, of power, of will as it bursts around me i’m on my knees barely breathing i must be dreaming visions flash before my eyes hot red beams bore into my skin from above all there is is destruction all there is is death touch me or don’t, i said there are no hands to hold me now no vessel to capture me no defenses and no hope without hopes, without shared understanding and a direction this is what becomes of heroes this is what becomes of harlots pirates and prostitutes in my memory curse me, mock me i feel nothing of it i am not floating, i am not sailing the stars are out of reach, i am beneath all matter there is an unforgiving blackness all around giving way to more vicious palettes; a dark whispering grey echoing tones of a dying sunset and blood stains from centuries ago in my mind i am running i am escaping towards the light but all i feel is gravel beneath me rough and real slate, threatening the devil is a painter the canvas is smeared and ripped, dripping red and grey and black beneath me it is red and grey it is hopelessness half is a haunting color that brings images of that menacing light the evil tearing me limb from limb bloodshed another tone symbolizes an uncertain frame of time not a forever no time at all, perhaps it is pain, it is ashes the whispers of the fallen fill my lungs and i am on the verge of sinking down through the gravel i endure the red beams and raise my gaze hoping for some break in the darkness a single speck of starlight, a gasp of warmth but in your eyes i can only see the world at its end, flames and the desperate wilting of all that is good speechless and breathless and hopeless more than wounded i am finished, the die is cast but it is not over
first posted July 22, 2012.
#love#death#abuse#choice#destruction#hopelessness#sadism#masochism#apocalypse
moonqueen
Written by
moonqueen
33/Cisgender Female
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
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