Yiska wants to slit wrists
to shove handfuls of pills
down her throat
leap from the ledge
of the ward window
bang her head
against the door frame
until her head bleeds
I am not shocked
I have an underlining
admiration
of her dedication
to death of some sort
don't suppose
you have a razor blade?
she asks
no they don't allow
those in here
I say
we have to use
the well used
electric one
she walks across
from window to the door
of the locked ward
I walk beside her
I'd mouth pills
if I could get any
she says
locked up
I add
she pauses
I could try hang myself
from the pipe in the bog
like you did
she says
but all cords or belts
are now confiscated
once in here
and the nurses watch you
like hawks
some look like hawks
she says
I notice her anxiety
it sits in her
like a possession
like a demon
has taken over her
don't the pills
they give work?
no
she says walking again
twice you tried that
she says
hanging in bogs
what is the thing
about bog hanging?
I don't know
the solitude of the place
no one there with you
I was just lucky
that old boy noticed
and called the nurse
lucky?
Yiska says
well that time
else I wouldn't be here
talking to you
or the second time attempt
she says
we stop by the window
and stare out
at the snow on the fields
and trees
kind of pure isn't it
I say
unlike me
she mutters
it's cold out there
fancy getting out
and lying in a ditch
and wait to die of cold
she shivers
her pale blue nightgown
moves
her unslippered feet
look innocent
as children
there's always ECT
I say
she looks at me
didn't work
just a fecking headache
afterwards
she says
me too
I say
she peers at the snow
I read somewhere
of German soldiers
freezing to death
in Russia during WW2
some standing up solid
she says
almost admiringly
but I’m locked in here
not out there
she puts her forehead
on the window pane
I can smell her perfume
musky but out of place
and a haunted look
on her young pale face.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 2:23 AM UTC
Yiska wants to slit wrists
to shove handfuls of pills
down her throat
leap from the ledge
of the ward window
bang her head
against the door frame
until her head bleeds
I am not shocked
I have an underlining
admiration
of her dedication
to death of some sort
don't suppose
you have a razor blade?
she asks
no they don't allow
those in here
I say
we have to use
the well used
electric one
she walks across
from window to the door
of the locked ward
I walk beside her
I'd mouth pills
if I could get any
she says
locked up
I add
she pauses
I could try hang myself
from the pipe in the bog
like you did
she says
but all cords or belts
are now confiscated
once in here
and the nurses watch you
like hawks
some look like hawks
she says
I notice her anxiety
it sits in her
like a possession
like a demon
has taken over her
don't the pills
they give work?
no
she says walking again
twice you tried that
she says
hanging in bogs
what is the thing
about bog hanging?
I don't know
the solitude of the place
no one there with you
I was just lucky
that old boy noticed
and called the nurse
lucky?
Yiska says
well that time
else I wouldn't be here
talking to you
or the second time attempt
she says
we stop by the window
and stare out
at the snow on the fields
and trees
kind of pure isn't it
I say
unlike me
she mutters
it's cold out there
fancy getting out
and lying in a ditch
and wait to die of cold
she shivers
her pale blue nightgown
moves
her unslippered feet
look innocent
as children
there's always ECT
I say
she looks at me
didn't work
just a fecking headache
afterwards
she says
me too
I say
she peers at the snow
I read somewhere
of German soldiers
freezing to death
in Russia during WW2
some standing up solid
she says
almost admiringly
but I’m locked in here
not out there
she puts her forehead
on the window pane
I can smell her perfume
musky but out of place
and a haunted look
on her young pale face.
A YOUNG MAN AND GIRL IN A LOCKED WARD IN 1971.
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