Everyday, I'm asked how I am feeling.
Everyday, I give the same ******** answer,"I'm fine."
What I really mean is,
I am constantly swirling around in the depths of hell.
I am being washed away under the rough current of the sea
And I can't catch my breath.
I am constantly feeling invisible,
alone, lost, broken, weak.
Some days, I can't get myself to leave my bed
because I know that what lies outside my doors is pain.
I am always feeling helpless, empty, at a loss of words.
I can bring myself to tell you though,
I don't want to hear you tell me
"What's your problem? I haven't done anything wrong, I've raised you right. You aren't asked to do much, you have a pretty easy life, people like you, you're pretty. I don't see why you're depressed. Get over it."
You see though, this IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
It is about the fact that
I am continuously brought down,
shamed, hated on,
constantly not being good enough.
No matter how hard I try,
I am NEVER good enough.
So it leaves me feeling pathetic and worthless,
I can help but self-loathe at this point.
I am in a constant state of misery,
but over the years,
I've perfected my fake smile.
I know how to act like I am fine,
when in reality,
I am dying on the inside with no escape.
Because you can't really escape from your brain,
can you?
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 9:07 PM UTC
Everyday, I'm asked how I am feeling.
Everyday, I give the same ******** answer,"I'm fine."
What I really mean is,
I am constantly swirling around in the depths of hell.
I am being washed away under the rough current of the sea
And I can't catch my breath.
I am constantly feeling invisible,
alone, lost, broken, weak.
Some days, I can't get myself to leave my bed
because I know that what lies outside my doors is pain.
I am always feeling helpless, empty, at a loss of words.
I can bring myself to tell you though,
I don't want to hear you tell me
"What's your problem? I haven't done anything wrong, I've raised you right. You aren't asked to do much, you have a pretty easy life, people like you, you're pretty. I don't see why you're depressed. Get over it."
You see though, this IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
It is about the fact that
I am continuously brought down,
shamed, hated on,
constantly not being good enough.
No matter how hard I try,
I am NEVER good enough.
So it leaves me feeling pathetic and worthless,
I can help but self-loathe at this point.
I am in a constant state of misery,
but over the years,
I've perfected my fake smile.
I know how to act like I am fine,
when in reality,
I am dying on the inside with no escape.
Because you can't really escape from your brain,
can you?
