Today I walked across the street with my eyes closed
just to see if I was really meant to be here
and of course,
again I go unnoticed
no longer do I know who I am
never have I felt so lost,
so lost and confused
I don’t know what is right,
and what is wrong
God how I wish you would make me feel as if I belonged
so lost and confused
still looking for my purpose in life,
right now feels as though I don’t have one
but I’m still looking
for that reason to believe
cause nothing makes you feel more alive
than feeling your bones break
from that bone shattering impact of a car in traffic
just watching the blood drip from your open veins
God please give me a reason
right now it feels as if I should give up
I wouldn’t wish this feeling,
upon my greatest enemy
where are you God?
I don't feel you,
I don’t see you,
I don’t hear you,
I dreamt of falling
so great the feeling of life
you don’t feel more alive then the moment in life,
where death can arise
the rush I need comes from life threatening events
God why do you hate me?
I know I am no angel but do I really deserve this pain?
It aches when I breathe,
choking on my own words,
I wish they hit me
I wish I felt alive
I want to feel the impact, I want to feel those broken bones
I want to see that scarlet drip
God what did I do to make you hate me?
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 2:29 PM UTC
Today I walked across the street with my eyes closed
just to see if I was really meant to be here
and of course,
again I go unnoticed
no longer do I know who I am
never have I felt so lost,
so lost and confused
I don’t know what is right,
and what is wrong
God how I wish you would make me feel as if I belonged
so lost and confused
still looking for my purpose in life,
right now feels as though I don’t have one
but I’m still looking
for that reason to believe
cause nothing makes you feel more alive
than feeling your bones break
from that bone shattering impact of a car in traffic
just watching the blood drip from your open veins
God please give me a reason
right now it feels as if I should give up
I wouldn’t wish this feeling,
upon my greatest enemy
where are you God?
I don't feel you,
I don’t see you,
I don’t hear you,
I dreamt of falling
so great the feeling of life
you don’t feel more alive then the moment in life,
where death can arise
the rush I need comes from life threatening events
God why do you hate me?
I know I am no angel but do I really deserve this pain?
It aches when I breathe,
choking on my own words,
I wish they hit me
I wish I felt alive
I want to feel the impact, I want to feel those broken bones
I want to see that scarlet drip
God what did I do to make you hate me?