i'm trying to find something to live for.
so harmfully caught between
living for myself and living for God.
i know He is in control
but i would like to hold the steering wheel.
it's said that man plans his steps
but the Lord guides those steps.
i can't help but want to be the planner
and the guide.
i'm not sure if that's wrong of me.
i guess it will take time to help me,
to enlighten me, to really show me
that God is in control.
i shall lean not on my own understanding
because i'm afraid i don't understand anything
at all.
-h.m.r.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 10:45 PM UTC
i'm trying to find something to live for.
so harmfully caught between
living for myself and living for God.
i know He is in control
but i would like to hold the steering wheel.
it's said that man plans his steps
but the Lord guides those steps.
i can't help but want to be the planner
and the guide.
i'm not sure if that's wrong of me.
i guess it will take time to help me,
to enlighten me, to really show me
that God is in control.
i shall lean not on my own understanding
because i'm afraid i don't understand anything
at all.
-h.m.r.
i'm currently having a hard time feeling the presence of God. i'm not entirely sure why but i guess this has something to do with that. i just feel numb to Him and it's scaring me that i want to live in my own way.
update: (12/1/14): it's been about a year since i wrote this and i still feel the same exact way. i don't know what's wrong with me. when did i lose faith?
