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elle-koenigPoems
They tell me I'm smart. They say I shouldn't worry; of course I'll get good grades and get into a good college and get a good job and have a good life. So I sit in chemistry and I pay attention. I write down the reactions, the calculations. I try, I really do. Semester grade: C. "Study more!" "Get off your laptop!" "If you went to bed earlier, you'd pay better attention in class." "It can't be that hard; you just need to put forth more effort." Sometimes I find it hard to breathe. My throat shrinks to an impossible size and every mention of a chemical equation is automatically magnetized to the ball of worry in my stomach. When I get anxious, I pinch my lips. I haven't had a need for lipstick in a long time. Sometimes I find it hard to care. Sometimes I dance to Beyonce and move my hips like I will never have another day to be alive. I pretend that I am important and the ground moves beneath me while I give life to the stars and bring the moon to earth. Maybe I can. During musical theater class, I perform the solo and I act silly and I look stupid and I am okay. They tell me I'm smart. Sometimes I can't breathe, and sometimes I do not care.
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Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 11:56 PM UTC
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They tell me I'm smart. They say I shouldn't worry; of course I'll get good grades and get into a good college and get a good job and have a good life. So I sit in chemistry and I pay attention. I write down the reactions, the calculations. I try, I really do. Semester grade: C. "Study more!" "Get off your laptop!" "If you went to bed earlier, you'd pay better attention in class." "It can't be that hard; you just need to put forth more effort." Sometimes I find it hard to breathe. My throat shrinks to an impossible size and every mention of a chemical equation is automatically magnetized to the ball of worry in my stomach. When I get anxious, I pinch my lips. I haven't had a need for lipstick in a long time. Sometimes I find it hard to care. Sometimes I dance to Beyonce and move my hips like I will never have another day to be alive. I pretend that I am important and the ground moves beneath me while I give life to the stars and bring the moon to earth. Maybe I can. During musical theater class, I perform the solo and I act silly and I look stupid and I am okay. They tell me I'm smart. Sometimes I can't breathe, and sometimes I do not care.
Written by
elle-koenig
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 11:56 PM UTC
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