I shall never know,
if you faked those blackouts.
The ones that made you crumple
on the stairs. Or else out in the cold
of Andy's rusted shed. Once I caught
you naked, you know,
during one of your blackouts.
I shall never know,
if you faked those blackouts.
I wouldn't have blamed you,
a shed-full of
wasted tanks and canisters;
lighter fluid, degreaser, air freshener,
foot spray – they spoilt the flooring,
and they spoilt our thoughts.
Never once deterring
from the self-manifest dream of escape,
of truth and eventual decay;
we took to bare arms
to satisfy
our escape from oxygen.
And, in open view,
you laid out naked with her.
You more studied her,
than ****** her,
you more observed ***
than became it.
I wanted her
as much as I wanted to be you.
So, I traced my dreams to your nothings,
upon your heralded wisdom,
but never could I untangle
from some impossible condition.
No, I never could untangle
the means from the ends,
and never could I darken
at will,
my old blackout friend.
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 12:05 AM UTC
I shall never know,
if you faked those blackouts.
The ones that made you crumple
on the stairs. Or else out in the cold
of Andy's rusted shed. Once I caught
you naked, you know,
during one of your blackouts.
I shall never know,
if you faked those blackouts.
I wouldn't have blamed you,
a shed-full of
wasted tanks and canisters;
lighter fluid, degreaser, air freshener,
foot spray – they spoilt the flooring,
and they spoilt our thoughts.
Never once deterring
from the self-manifest dream of escape,
of truth and eventual decay;
we took to bare arms
to satisfy
our escape from oxygen.
And, in open view,
you laid out naked with her.
You more studied her,
than ****** her,
you more observed ***
than became it.
I wanted her
as much as I wanted to be you.
So, I traced my dreams to your nothings,
upon your heralded wisdom,
but never could I untangle
from some impossible condition.
No, I never could untangle
the means from the ends,
and never could I darken
at will,
my old blackout friend.
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