1
if and when I'm retired
I'd expect the world to be kind
and reverential:
so I'd expect when I drive
all people get off the road
when they see me approach;
and at the bank
for all to step aside
for a man whose daily 3-time meals
is nothing but baked beans
2
I'd expect the world to be in awe, and to admire
so the women would say: *
”My, look at this retiree
in his psychedelic shirt and rainbow hat
and his bell-bottoms – real cool, baby”*
and the men would concur, dazzled:
“Owww - this guy, what planet is he from?”
3
and
of course I'd expect
the govt
to send me my cheque
weekly –
no, wait - EFT
will be the way to go;
and the Minister for the Retired
should call me every 30th
to ask if I’d like a raise
4
Also I’d expect
to wake up each morning
to find a cup of coffee ready on my table
and I’d turn to my wife and say:
*“All our lives, you always put the ****** salt
in the coffee”*
And I’d expect her to say
(cos that’s always been the way):
*“If you want sugar in your coffee
fix your ****** coffee yourself!”*
5
And all these things I expect
of the world (except of my wife)
to be kind
and reverential
if and when I’m retired -
but then again, I might just die
at my table at work
after a coffee I fixed myself
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 5:50 AM UTC
1
if and when I'm retired
I'd expect the world to be kind
and reverential:
so I'd expect when I drive
all people get off the road
when they see me approach;
and at the bank
for all to step aside
for a man whose daily 3-time meals
is nothing but baked beans
2
I'd expect the world to be in awe, and to admire
so the women would say: *
”My, look at this retiree
in his psychedelic shirt and rainbow hat
and his bell-bottoms – real cool, baby”*
and the men would concur, dazzled:
“Owww - this guy, what planet is he from?”
3
and
of course I'd expect
the govt
to send me my cheque
weekly –
no, wait - EFT
will be the way to go;
and the Minister for the Retired
should call me every 30th
to ask if I’d like a raise
4
Also I’d expect
to wake up each morning
to find a cup of coffee ready on my table
and I’d turn to my wife and say:
*“All our lives, you always put the ****** salt
in the coffee”*
And I’d expect her to say
(cos that’s always been the way):
*“If you want sugar in your coffee
fix your ****** coffee yourself!”*
5
And all these things I expect
of the world (except of my wife)
to be kind
and reverential
if and when I’m retired -
but then again, I might just die
at my table at work
after a coffee I fixed myself
a bit of dark humour....or as Polonius says in Hamlet: "...comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical- comical-historical-pastoral..."
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