Am I not 'nuff?

complicatedcharmer Poems

Why do i always have to be told Though indirectly, but told, so ******* sarcastically, with those irritating grins and giggles '' you know what? you should take part in the beauty contest " When all i know is that they have a good reason to make me feel so on cloud nine for a minute and down crashing on the ground with a thud,when i sooner or later will realise, no, I've got scars, I've got marks, I've got bruises, I've got frizzy hair,I've got a skinny bodytype I've got ordinary clothes, I've got no good pair of heals,like you do. I dont have the talents to put makeup on.. duh. You know it all too well. i know it,too. Still,you wanto say it on my face,so that it hits me harder the time I see myself in the mirror wearing clothes i feel will make me look alright,just alright. and then i enter the classroom seeing all of you guys to be staring at me, saying,''pooh,you look awesome'' I know why,i know it. And then as more chicks start to enter, All I'd want would be to tear my outfit from the middle throw it away, rub off that kohl I tried to roughly apply to kinda accentuate my tiny Asian eyes. Because all of you guys look so **** perfect. so gorgeous. so rich. so what we say CLASSY so IT. When'll I be enough? am i always gonna wear those nerdy glasses, slick back my bangs from my forehead that hides my scars .. wear the oversized, boring sweaters, and pants and shoes,and with books by my side . Am i never going to be like y'all? that others want to be like. who look upto them. when someone'll be like, ''i wanna be like her" Can i never be that 'her' ? can i never get a compliment? Can i never hold the crown? or that sachet ? or the flowers? or the teddies? or the hamper? NO? i must rather abide with my unlucky, hopeless, shady, dusky, good-for-nothing weird life? Can i never make something out of it, with my appearance appreciated? even from people who matter, from people who live with me under the same roof? can ,for once and for all, i be made feel enough............ ?