Maybe I don't want to get well.
Maybe when I have a good day, I miss the pain.
Maybe I like being sad.
Maybe I want to have a reason to relapse.
I don't want to stop painting my skin
with red permanent ink.
I want to lock my bad thoughts in
so I am not losing them.
Maybe one day I am ready to heal,
but clearly not yet.
I feel safe in my pain.
It's something I know,
something I understand.
The pain feels like control,
like something that won't leave me alone.
I am not good at healing.
Well, how could I be,
if I fear being okay?
If I adore my scars,
WHO am I without all my depressed parts?
1d ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 7:19 AM UTC
Maybe I don't want to get well.
Maybe when I have a good day, I miss the pain.
Maybe I like being sad.
Maybe I want to have a reason to relapse.
I don't want to stop painting my skin
with red permanent ink.
I want to lock my bad thoughts in
so I am not losing them.
Maybe one day I am ready to heal,
but clearly not yet.
I feel safe in my pain.
It's something I know,
something I understand.
The pain feels like control,
like something that won't leave me alone.
I am not good at healing.
Well, how could I be,
if I fear being okay?
If I adore my scars,
WHO am I without all my depressed parts?