What happened to me?
These rapid feelings have never done me justice. Every day is the same battle, the same weight pressing against my chest. I don’t know where it comes from, but it hurts. The pain is unbearable and it’s killing me from the inside out.
I hide from it. I run from it, or at least I try to. But this darkness keeps following me. And when it finally catches up, because it always does, I break. I cry until I can’t breathe, and I can’t stop myself. I can’t save myself from it.
But part of me needs it. I need that ******* drug, and I don’t even know why. It’s haunted me my entire life. When I cried for my father’s love. When I cried for my mother’s presence. When I begged to be freed from that dangerous, dreadful grasp that never seemed to loosen.
I tried to smile. I tried to look at my life as something I could shape and mold into meaning. But can I really change it into something I’m proud of? Something worth needing?
Help me.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 11:45 PM UTC
What happened to me?
These rapid feelings have never done me justice. Every day is the same battle, the same weight pressing against my chest. I don’t know where it comes from, but it hurts. The pain is unbearable and it’s killing me from the inside out.
I hide from it. I run from it, or at least I try to. But this darkness keeps following me. And when it finally catches up, because it always does, I break. I cry until I can’t breathe, and I can’t stop myself. I can’t save myself from it.
But part of me needs it. I need that ******* drug, and I don’t even know why. It’s haunted me my entire life. When I cried for my father’s love. When I cried for my mother’s presence. When I begged to be freed from that dangerous, dreadful grasp that never seemed to loosen.
I tried to smile. I tried to look at my life as something I could shape and mold into meaning. But can I really change it into something I’m proud of? Something worth needing?
Help me.
The poem feels like someone trapped in a cycle of emotional pain, abandonment, and dependency while desperately trying to understand why they feel this way.