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Noise. Quiet. Shrinking. Humongousness. Being soft and being sharp. Stuffing cake into my mouth and keeping everything away from my lips. Zipping myself into my backpack. Pouring coffee into my eyes till I can’t see anything that scares me. Breaking my telephone in half. Biting my fingers off so something else hurts instead, and growing new parts to prove I'm still changing. Shaved legs, and hairy ones. My hair up, and down. Eating my computer like a sandwich. I've tried to pluck the worms from my skin and I've tried to let them burrow deeper. I have tried soap and chemicals and satin and cotton. Treaties. Worksheets. Television. The emergency room. I have tried. I have tried it all.
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May 16
May 16, 2026 at 2:09 PM UTC
I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING
Noise. Quiet. Shrinking. Humongousness. Being soft and being sharp. Stuffing cake into my mouth and keeping everything away from my lips. Zipping myself into my backpack. Pouring coffee into my eyes till I can’t see anything that scares me. Breaking my telephone in half. Biting my fingers off so something else hurts instead, and growing new parts to prove I'm still changing. Shaved legs, and hairy ones. My hair up, and down. Eating my computer like a sandwich. I've tried to pluck the worms from my skin and I've tried to let them burrow deeper. I have tried soap and chemicals and satin and cotton. Treaties. Worksheets. Television. The emergency room. I have tried. I have tried it all.
Written by
18/F/Wisonsin.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 2:09 PM UTC
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