When the night comes,
And it’s time to shed my skin,
Each layer of armour that I have becomes a layer of fabric on the ground.
And then I’m forced to see my own skin in my body.
I can’t hide behind the curtains I wear.
I see my hairy flesh.
The hair that I’ve been spending so much time removing.
But it just grows back, every time it grows back.
But I don’t grow back. My resilience grows dull.
With every bounce back, I grow weaker.
They say I need to overcome my insecurities.
But why can’t I just be happy in my skin by removing the thing that causes my insecurities?
Instead I hyper focus on other aspects of myself that I hate, something I can fix.
So I don’t eat, I starve in pain to try and fix myself, I don’t even know if it does anything.
Sometimes I feel like it does…but maybe it doesn’t.
It’s the only thing I can control.
And when the day comes again I tie so much fabric around myself to the point that I’m numb and can’t even feel it.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 3:31 PM UTC
When the night comes,
And it’s time to shed my skin,
Each layer of armour that I have becomes a layer of fabric on the ground.
And then I’m forced to see my own skin in my body.
I can’t hide behind the curtains I wear.
I see my hairy flesh.
The hair that I’ve been spending so much time removing.
But it just grows back, every time it grows back.
But I don’t grow back. My resilience grows dull.
With every bounce back, I grow weaker.
They say I need to overcome my insecurities.
But why can’t I just be happy in my skin by removing the thing that causes my insecurities?
Instead I hyper focus on other aspects of myself that I hate, something I can fix.
So I don’t eat, I starve in pain to try and fix myself, I don’t even know if it does anything.
Sometimes I feel like it does…but maybe it doesn’t.
It’s the only thing I can control.
And when the day comes again I tie so much fabric around myself to the point that I’m numb and can’t even feel it.
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