Do you remember that night?
Which night?
Those nights.
Just nights?
Days, hours, minutes and seconds.
Gray skies, which you hated.
Heavy by The Marías, on loop.
Loud melodies paired with outdoor tears.
Everything tainted, music, objects, even memories.
My face?
When will it just let me go?
But,
Afraid that if I am let go
I might sink further.
Further than I already have.
Desperacy devouring every inch of me
Bitterness in every crevice of my soul.
At being so young
And
Fatherless.
Please don’t let this sorrow seep in further.
It hurts where my heart is supposed to breathe
So how do I move on?
If I feel it in me every single day.
Distant memories that don't feel like me,
Yet I know otherwise, I know that they are mine.
Math class, no one noticed:
My stares.
My breath.
My eyes.
Surroundings overcome by laughter but never touching me.
The dread of going home.
And I don't want to go home.
You had no idea, you weren't lucid.
Nights of walking longer than I should've
Ease my torment.
Condolences from teachers who took pity in my tears.
Times of thinking
I’d be welcomed by your warm embrace.
An illusion that is crushed instantaneously.
Remembering
The house is empty with only traces of where you once
Sat
Slept
Cooked and
Laughed.
The frustration that it would’ve been more bearable if I left before you.
I yearn to believe,
At least a little
Then I’d have hope of seeing you in an Afterlife,
But I'm blasphemous.
And you were too.
Would a God make it easier?
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 10:34 AM UTC
Do you remember that night?
Which night?
Those nights.
Just nights?
Days, hours, minutes and seconds.
Gray skies, which you hated.
Heavy by The Marías, on loop.
Loud melodies paired with outdoor tears.
Everything tainted, music, objects, even memories.
My face?
When will it just let me go?
But,
Afraid that if I am let go
I might sink further.
Further than I already have.
Desperacy devouring every inch of me
Bitterness in every crevice of my soul.
At being so young
And
Fatherless.
Please don’t let this sorrow seep in further.
It hurts where my heart is supposed to breathe
So how do I move on?
If I feel it in me every single day.
Distant memories that don't feel like me,
Yet I know otherwise, I know that they are mine.
Math class, no one noticed:
My stares.
My breath.
My eyes.
Surroundings overcome by laughter but never touching me.
The dread of going home.
And I don't want to go home.
You had no idea, you weren't lucid.
Nights of walking longer than I should've
Ease my torment.
Condolences from teachers who took pity in my tears.
Times of thinking
I’d be welcomed by your warm embrace.
An illusion that is crushed instantaneously.
Remembering
The house is empty with only traces of where you once
Sat
Slept
Cooked and
Laughed.
The frustration that it would’ve been more bearable if I left before you.
I yearn to believe,
At least a little
Then I’d have hope of seeing you in an Afterlife,
But I'm blasphemous.
And you were too.
Would a God make it easier?
