Nobody tells you
that losing someone
can be heavier
than you ever thought
no one prepares you
for that moment
or how it lingers
without asking permission
that was when my father died
but this story
is not about that
or maybe it is
in a way I don’t fully admit
maybe it’s about how I ended up here
in Sacramento
with my aunt and my uncle
who are Jehovah’s Witnesses
that thing with paradise
and no birthdays or Christmas
sometime after I arrived
they suggested
I should go
to be fair
I didn’t really have a choice
we went to a meeting
I thought it would be boring
and to be fair
it was
until she caught my attention
red hair
and eyes
that looked like they had too much life in them
for a room like that
after the meeting
I thought we could go home
but no
people love to talk
so I went outside
and there she was
sitting beside me
her name was Marike
a strange name
for a girl like her
then we kept meeting
at school
at the library
and obviously
at the meetings
then one day
she asked me
if I wanted to come to dinner
with her family
and of course
why would I say no
and here I am
at her door
waiting
the dinner was great
but before it
they said a prayer
and I kept my eyes open
and so did she
after that
she said
what if I stayed over
without realizing
a feeling grew inside me
slowly
but I decided to stay
and the next morning
I found her
with my glasses
on her nose
I’m not going to say
I’ve never seen such beauty
it would sound too plastic
too unoriginal
so here’s what really happened
I just smiled like an idiot
and waited
for my glasses
for a while
our lives were good
you know
until people start noticing
you might have feelings for someone
before you even know it yourself
then the rules appeared
if I wanted to hang out with her
I had to do religious stuff
so I did
until one night
after the Bible study
we walked home together
and out of the blue
she asked me
if I wanted to pray with her
at first I said no
but something made me change my mind
so I listened
she held my hands
like they were something fragile
after she finished
slowly
she kissed me
so fast
I didn’t even realize
when it happened
I felt like
I could finally live
but like I said
when people start to notice
it only gets worse
the next few days
I didn’t see her
until the meeting
where my heart broke in pieces
because next year
she was supposed to get married
to some guy
she didn’t even know,
but was her choice,
after all,
all she ever wanted
was to keep me safe
so I left
back home
because my mom
was somehow feeling better
and the years passed
without me realizing it
but I knew
my heart was still in Sacramento
and somehow
life brought me back there
so I saw her again
but this time
she hugged me
and I asked
“not gonna let me go?”
Apr 19
Apr 19, 2026 at 9:16 AM UTC
Nobody tells you
that losing someone
can be heavier
than you ever thought
no one prepares you
for that moment
or how it lingers
without asking permission
that was when my father died
but this story
is not about that
or maybe it is
in a way I don’t fully admit
maybe it’s about how I ended up here
in Sacramento
with my aunt and my uncle
who are Jehovah’s Witnesses
that thing with paradise
and no birthdays or Christmas
sometime after I arrived
they suggested
I should go
to be fair
I didn’t really have a choice
we went to a meeting
I thought it would be boring
and to be fair
it was
until she caught my attention
red hair
and eyes
that looked like they had too much life in them
for a room like that
after the meeting
I thought we could go home
but no
people love to talk
so I went outside
and there she was
sitting beside me
her name was Marike
a strange name
for a girl like her
then we kept meeting
at school
at the library
and obviously
at the meetings
then one day
she asked me
if I wanted to come to dinner
with her family
and of course
why would I say no
and here I am
at her door
waiting
the dinner was great
but before it
they said a prayer
and I kept my eyes open
and so did she
after that
she said
what if I stayed over
without realizing
a feeling grew inside me
slowly
but I decided to stay
and the next morning
I found her
with my glasses
on her nose
I’m not going to say
I’ve never seen such beauty
it would sound too plastic
too unoriginal
so here’s what really happened
I just smiled like an idiot
and waited
for my glasses
for a while
our lives were good
you know
until people start noticing
you might have feelings for someone
before you even know it yourself
then the rules appeared
if I wanted to hang out with her
I had to do religious stuff
so I did
until one night
after the Bible study
we walked home together
and out of the blue
she asked me
if I wanted to pray with her
at first I said no
but something made me change my mind
so I listened
she held my hands
like they were something fragile
after she finished
slowly
she kissed me
so fast
I didn’t even realize
when it happened
I felt like
I could finally live
but like I said
when people start to notice
it only gets worse
the next few days
I didn’t see her
until the meeting
where my heart broke in pieces
because next year
she was supposed to get married
to some guy
she didn’t even know,
but was her choice,
after all,
all she ever wanted
was to keep me safe
so I left
back home
because my mom
was somehow feeling better
and the years passed
without me realizing it
but I knew
my heart was still in Sacramento
and somehow
life brought me back there
so I saw her again
but this time
she hugged me
and I asked
“not gonna let me go?”
