The constant mental banter
Back and forth yes or no
Do I disappoint my love
For a moment of instant gratification?
Do I throw away recovery
Three solid months
Itchy skin and hateful thoughts
For a moment of instant gratification?
And I'm so full of regret
Because it wasn't worth it
And I hurt my best friend
For a moment of instant gratification
A moment of instant gratification
That wasn't even gratifying
Wasn't in the slightest, satisfying
Harboring a moment of regret
For something he won't forget
But I tried in vain to justify
The actions I couldn't dignify
Words that trickled like thorns
Oh how I wish I waited a minute more
And not let their whispers win
Screams rather, as they crawl in
They soothed their shrieks
And gently brushed my cheeks
And convinced me it didn't count
If it didn't bleed on my account
But he held my close and said it did
I can't swallow it, but it's true, I backslid
"But it didn't leave any marks to show"
My mind screams and my heart does echo
"I didn't bleed in the slightest my dear"
Disappointing him is a biggest fear
As immaturity grasps at my soul
I have to accept my repercussions in whole
Three months down the drain
And causing my best friend pain
Not a scar to show for what I've done
But away from me, he'll never run..
Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 2:43 AM UTC
The constant mental banter
Back and forth yes or no
Do I disappoint my love
For a moment of instant gratification?
Do I throw away recovery
Three solid months
Itchy skin and hateful thoughts
For a moment of instant gratification?
And I'm so full of regret
Because it wasn't worth it
And I hurt my best friend
For a moment of instant gratification
A moment of instant gratification
That wasn't even gratifying
Wasn't in the slightest, satisfying
Harboring a moment of regret
For something he won't forget
But I tried in vain to justify
The actions I couldn't dignify
Words that trickled like thorns
Oh how I wish I waited a minute more
And not let their whispers win
Screams rather, as they crawl in
They soothed their shrieks
And gently brushed my cheeks
And convinced me it didn't count
If it didn't bleed on my account
But he held my close and said it did
I can't swallow it, but it's true, I backslid
"But it didn't leave any marks to show"
My mind screams and my heart does echo
"I didn't bleed in the slightest my dear"
Disappointing him is a biggest fear
As immaturity grasps at my soul
I have to accept my repercussions in whole
Three months down the drain
And causing my best friend pain
Not a scar to show for what I've done
But away from me, he'll never run..
Wrote the first two stanzas in late November.. The rest is from this morning..
But if I'm being honest that last chunk is really cool and written well in my opinion.
I'm so sorry love.. I'm sorry my sky..
