And here it is!
That big light coming towards me
Dont you see it?
I bet all the people out there on their fire escapes tonight can see it
[My words are starting to taste like caramel again]
Aye, sweet and heavy is the world out there for me right now
But then I start to think about how even magnificently terrifyingly tremendous things are usually built out of a whole lot of small stuff
[There’s your platitude for the evening]
And I guess we’ve all decided to follow the mouse in the room down whatever unimaginably small trap doors he takes us down because there’s really nothing else to do
But then maybe the world will be wide and grand again
Distance is such a curious beast
[No wonder ive always fawned for the sea]
And I can only wish we all find tiny little blessings in the words we each read tonight and every night after this to keep us safe
So I go back to making mountains out of rooftop antennas
I promise, I swear I do
But life doesnt feel the same
Everything feels different again, again
Acidic and foreign, biting tongues
Short showers and haunting hours
Now I’ll have to tuck myself up in bed here real soon
Maybe ill come back to this, too
Maybe ill just fall asleep dead asleep never to be seen again sleep
Maybe tomorrow’s the morning i get back to remembering what i think about in my dreams
You ever have that? Months at a time?
[Now that great light from the sky is shining in the corner of my eye, I need to move outta the way]
And you know they say that the mind and the brain are separate things, and you can use your brain to control your mind to start making your brain think differently for a change
[Maybe its all hocus pocus but even i dont like to joke about it]
And before i know it im right there
Back to wondering if there’s a word stronger than love or something
I dont really know, if im being honest
But look!
Its a miraculously large thing, impossibly made of so many wondrous small things
[Second one’s free]
But there’s got to be a magic to certain things we say
Because there is absolute magic in what never makes it to our teeth
And I used to think the story of my life would be told passing through but lately i just don’t want to think about this character in myself at all anymore and i couldn’t tell you what I’m going to do
[But all im doing is just digging through all my little scraps of words, old pretty delicate precious things, asking if I cannot be what I wish I would have been, am I still able to be what I wish to become? Even though they both sound like the same thing to me.]
I’m brushing my teeth now, the water heats up, I just want to melt
[Its only tepid, half-hearted, unenthused]
But before I go, I look down at myself and see my face staring up at the water and i think im starting to feel little flash-forwards of life again, little manifestations of a supernatural kind
And then I see myself sitting on the edge of my busted blowup mattress, back in Brooklyn, scared to scrap a page, honest to god thinking dreaming hoping begging he had something to say
But its a privilege to believe that sometimes i still do
And its magic to wonder who else out there might just be thinking what im thinking, too
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 12:31 PM UTC
And here it is!
That big light coming towards me
Dont you see it?
I bet all the people out there on their fire escapes tonight can see it
[My words are starting to taste like caramel again]
Aye, sweet and heavy is the world out there for me right now
But then I start to think about how even magnificently terrifyingly tremendous things are usually built out of a whole lot of small stuff
[There’s your platitude for the evening]
And I guess we’ve all decided to follow the mouse in the room down whatever unimaginably small trap doors he takes us down because there’s really nothing else to do
But then maybe the world will be wide and grand again
Distance is such a curious beast
[No wonder ive always fawned for the sea]
And I can only wish we all find tiny little blessings in the words we each read tonight and every night after this to keep us safe
So I go back to making mountains out of rooftop antennas
I promise, I swear I do
But life doesnt feel the same
Everything feels different again, again
Acidic and foreign, biting tongues
Short showers and haunting hours
Now I’ll have to tuck myself up in bed here real soon
Maybe ill come back to this, too
Maybe ill just fall asleep dead asleep never to be seen again sleep
Maybe tomorrow’s the morning i get back to remembering what i think about in my dreams
You ever have that? Months at a time?
[Now that great light from the sky is shining in the corner of my eye, I need to move outta the way]
And you know they say that the mind and the brain are separate things, and you can use your brain to control your mind to start making your brain think differently for a change
[Maybe its all hocus pocus but even i dont like to joke about it]
And before i know it im right there
Back to wondering if there’s a word stronger than love or something
I dont really know, if im being honest
But look!
Its a miraculously large thing, impossibly made of so many wondrous small things
[Second one’s free]
But there’s got to be a magic to certain things we say
Because there is absolute magic in what never makes it to our teeth
And I used to think the story of my life would be told passing through but lately i just don’t want to think about this character in myself at all anymore and i couldn’t tell you what I’m going to do
[But all im doing is just digging through all my little scraps of words, old pretty delicate precious things, asking if I cannot be what I wish I would have been, am I still able to be what I wish to become? Even though they both sound like the same thing to me.]
I’m brushing my teeth now, the water heats up, I just want to melt
[Its only tepid, half-hearted, unenthused]
But before I go, I look down at myself and see my face staring up at the water and i think im starting to feel little flash-forwards of life again, little manifestations of a supernatural kind
And then I see myself sitting on the edge of my busted blowup mattress, back in Brooklyn, scared to scrap a page, honest to god thinking dreaming hoping begging he had something to say
But its a privilege to believe that sometimes i still do
And its magic to wonder who else out there might just be thinking what im thinking, too
