It’s difficult living with anxiety.
Beyond the existing crippling anxiety of the current state of our country
How am I going to earn enough income to not be paycheck to paycheck anymore?
How long will it be until I pay off all my debt?
How much longer am I supposed to wait until I am able to afford a house?
How long until my body stops fighting against me?
How long will it be that I witness my sister be treated like **** and in return she accepts it because she doesn’t have the strength yet to leave him?
How long will it be until our country reaches the point of revolution?
How long will I see fellow citizens and legal residents of our country disappear?
How long until we stop witnessing blatant, abhorrent, disgusting breaches in checks and balances that uphold the very foundation of this nation’s existence?
You see what I mean?
Living in my head there is no rest
And that doesn’t scratch the surface - I feel like it wells up from inside of me too
Squeezes straight into every cell of my body and overwhelms me
When will I heal?
From the reality that my sister and I will always be too far from each other to see each other “enough”?
From the reality that it will never be the same again with my dad?
From the reality that I’ll never be able to connect with my mom as she would hope?
From the reality that nobody secretly plots on leaving my life out of nowhere?
From the reality that everyone quiet politically around me will aid in the demise or harm of potentially millions of people?
It’s the realization dawning in me that although the wheel of worry never stops - so too will the “right” time in my life never be reached
My hope of course is that I continue to practice mindfulness
Meditating, training my brain to focus rather than allow it to be overwhelmed
To ground myself, remind myself I can never give up
That the community around me will not tire
Collectively, for all of us, to find strength together to rise up and speak up for each other and for yourself
No day should ever be taken for granted, our life is experienced here, and now
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 10:37 PM UTC
It’s difficult living with anxiety.
Beyond the existing crippling anxiety of the current state of our country
How am I going to earn enough income to not be paycheck to paycheck anymore?
How long will it be until I pay off all my debt?
How much longer am I supposed to wait until I am able to afford a house?
How long until my body stops fighting against me?
How long will it be that I witness my sister be treated like **** and in return she accepts it because she doesn’t have the strength yet to leave him?
How long will it be until our country reaches the point of revolution?
How long will I see fellow citizens and legal residents of our country disappear?
How long until we stop witnessing blatant, abhorrent, disgusting breaches in checks and balances that uphold the very foundation of this nation’s existence?
You see what I mean?
Living in my head there is no rest
And that doesn’t scratch the surface - I feel like it wells up from inside of me too
Squeezes straight into every cell of my body and overwhelms me
When will I heal?
From the reality that my sister and I will always be too far from each other to see each other “enough”?
From the reality that it will never be the same again with my dad?
From the reality that I’ll never be able to connect with my mom as she would hope?
From the reality that nobody secretly plots on leaving my life out of nowhere?
From the reality that everyone quiet politically around me will aid in the demise or harm of potentially millions of people?
It’s the realization dawning in me that although the wheel of worry never stops - so too will the “right” time in my life never be reached
My hope of course is that I continue to practice mindfulness
Meditating, training my brain to focus rather than allow it to be overwhelmed
To ground myself, remind myself I can never give up
That the community around me will not tire
Collectively, for all of us, to find strength together to rise up and speak up for each other and for yourself
No day should ever be taken for granted, our life is experienced here, and now
6.29.25
