I often wondered why people like love stories as a child
In mild amusement I used to rebel love
Used to play with it like my hands were shaper of this reality in youth
Until I found love and soon lost it to suicide.
And this is not the sad part my fellow readers for the day was red
It was cloudy and red, but I cared none, i didn't emote
Didn't even cry properly, didn't shread tears when I need to
I tried to **** myself but I couldn't cry for heaven's sake
When that little child has seen such things he forms a dome of invisible walls
No one closer and no one deeper to really hold my hand and talk about my broken heart
But when time "healed" me I thought I was done with this
And then I found you, as funny as laughter and as cute as a bunny.
First conversation I asked for some notes and you said to ask it like "ask nicely mommy" on your phone
Back then I knew you were as weird and as funny as anyone I have ever seen
Everyday I feel in love more, when I kissed you first and held back you said "can't stop now baby" and kissed me again
Everyday felt like a new version of me was born to love the little child in you
That smirky smiley face so adorable and so beautiful
When we crashed our cycles when I got a new one
And we didn't think twice after we fell down and just kissed
And how you took me to the hospital after I injured my finger for a tetanus(that was not in the *** btw)
I loved how much you grew each day, how much love you shred with me
And in time how much you grew and how many friends you made.
When we were having that picnic on hillside and I held you close, i swear to have seen you forever and ever
When you slept with me for the first time and didn't tell me that you got the deluxe room, I was so attracted
When you were sat with me in the garden and we talked for 3 hours straight about absolutely nothing and everything at once.
How you made me feel so loved when you held me and didn't let me go
How I made noises when you used to eat and you used to get annoyed
How pretty you looked in that white dress that has little holes so the sunlight could kiss the ground
How amazing you looked with your bangs and how beautiful you looked during freshers
How many times have I said I'll gonna be ****** for this exam and you assured me not to worry
How amazing you looked in that saree for Diwali and garba when we took pictures of us kissing
There are a thousand things I can recall but nothing is as sweet as that first "I love you"
All of this yet I never showed enough effort not because I didn't love you, but because I was dead inside
I never healed from that heartbreak 3 years ago
And if I did we would be something so beautiful so precious
But darling I'm an idiot, I thought what never enters my brain could never hurt me
But it poisoned me made me stiff, made me less into showing effort not because I didn't want to
But because I was subconsciously always scared of not letting myself die if you left me like that last time
But I forgot that this is no solution and that's all I should apologise on
And you were no better with your emotional baggage of not being able to confront people and hurt them
Something that stemed from your harsh childhood which never gave enough feedback to change
So honey we're just two ****** up people, and I wish I can read you this poem but I know that it's too late
And with grace I'll say you have taught me so much about myself
Given me so many happy moments that I think you're one of the best things to ever happened to me
I don't think I'll be able to find someone like you but that doesn't mean I'll stop trying
I love you no more romantically then as a friend.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Ps:I didn't make a playlist because the last time I did, I almost jumped off a bridge listening to it. I didn't want blood on your hands :)
Feb 27
Feb 27, 2026 at 10:55 AM UTC
I often wondered why people like love stories as a child
In mild amusement I used to rebel love
Used to play with it like my hands were shaper of this reality in youth
Until I found love and soon lost it to suicide.
And this is not the sad part my fellow readers for the day was red
It was cloudy and red, but I cared none, i didn't emote
Didn't even cry properly, didn't shread tears when I need to
I tried to **** myself but I couldn't cry for heaven's sake
When that little child has seen such things he forms a dome of invisible walls
No one closer and no one deeper to really hold my hand and talk about my broken heart
But when time "healed" me I thought I was done with this
And then I found you, as funny as laughter and as cute as a bunny.
First conversation I asked for some notes and you said to ask it like "ask nicely mommy" on your phone
Back then I knew you were as weird and as funny as anyone I have ever seen
Everyday I feel in love more, when I kissed you first and held back you said "can't stop now baby" and kissed me again
Everyday felt like a new version of me was born to love the little child in you
That smirky smiley face so adorable and so beautiful
When we crashed our cycles when I got a new one
And we didn't think twice after we fell down and just kissed
And how you took me to the hospital after I injured my finger for a tetanus(that was not in the *** btw)
I loved how much you grew each day, how much love you shred with me
And in time how much you grew and how many friends you made.
When we were having that picnic on hillside and I held you close, i swear to have seen you forever and ever
When you slept with me for the first time and didn't tell me that you got the deluxe room, I was so attracted
When you were sat with me in the garden and we talked for 3 hours straight about absolutely nothing and everything at once.
How you made me feel so loved when you held me and didn't let me go
How I made noises when you used to eat and you used to get annoyed
How pretty you looked in that white dress that has little holes so the sunlight could kiss the ground
How amazing you looked with your bangs and how beautiful you looked during freshers
How many times have I said I'll gonna be ****** for this exam and you assured me not to worry
How amazing you looked in that saree for Diwali and garba when we took pictures of us kissing
There are a thousand things I can recall but nothing is as sweet as that first "I love you"
All of this yet I never showed enough effort not because I didn't love you, but because I was dead inside
I never healed from that heartbreak 3 years ago
And if I did we would be something so beautiful so precious
But darling I'm an idiot, I thought what never enters my brain could never hurt me
But it poisoned me made me stiff, made me less into showing effort not because I didn't want to
But because I was subconsciously always scared of not letting myself die if you left me like that last time
But I forgot that this is no solution and that's all I should apologise on
And you were no better with your emotional baggage of not being able to confront people and hurt them
Something that stemed from your harsh childhood which never gave enough feedback to change
So honey we're just two ****** up people, and I wish I can read you this poem but I know that it's too late
And with grace I'll say you have taught me so much about myself
Given me so many happy moments that I think you're one of the best things to ever happened to me
I don't think I'll be able to find someone like you but that doesn't mean I'll stop trying
I love you no more romantically then as a friend.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Ps:I didn't make a playlist because the last time I did, I almost jumped off a bridge listening to it. I didn't want blood on your hands :)
I went through a break up so not really a poem, read it if you have the patience.
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