Do you see the same blue sky?

ismailvo Poems

I feel like everything I do gets shoved into different perspectives. Perspective I don’t mean or want. People see me in different shades of their own choosing. Some bad and others good but mostly bad. Is it me God? Is it me who’s problematic? Is it me always being issue to everyone’s cause? I know perfection’s a myth, but how far can someone get away from it? I don’t know how I feel right now, but it is not good. God, it is not good. I don’t like where I am, I don’t like who I have become. And I keep thinking about every interaction. Every word I said. Every tone I used. Every moment I could have handled differently. I replay it like there’s something I missed. Like there’s a flaw in me everyone else can see but I can’t. I try to adjust. I try to be softer. I try to be quieter. More understanding. Less intense. Less opinionated. Less… me. But somehow it still turns into something. Still becomes an issue. Still becomes a problem I didn’t know I was creating. So I sit here wondering if I’m slowly becoming the version of myself I never wanted to be. Someone tired and defensive. Someone who expects to be misunderstood before even speaking. I am afraid of who I am turning into