I’ve had a horrible day.
The kind that sits heavy on my chest
like unanswered prayers.
I moved through hours like a ghost in my own life,
speaking when required and
attempting to smile where I should.
I’ve questioned everything.
My choices. My timing. My worth.
I am constantly tired and not just in body,
but in spirit.
I’ve had a horrible week.
I’ve cried myself to sleep every night.
You can smell the salt from my tears on my pillow.
A heavy weight on my shoulders as I see my mates moving forward.
New jobs, new wins, new milestones while I feel stuck.
Stuck in a limbo from hell.
Not progressing. Not backsliding.
Just frozen in place,
watching life move
like a train I somehow missed.
In fact, I’ve had a horrible month
and it’s my birth month.
The month that was supposed to celebrate me
has instead reminded me of my inadequacy.
Another year older,
but not where I thought I’d be.
I thought I would have arrived by now.
Instead, I am paused.
Suspended between who I was
and who I am meant to become.
I know I haven’t had a horrible life,
but it’s hard to see the positives
inside this big negative
that I am stuck in.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 4:00 PM UTC
I’ve had a horrible day.
The kind that sits heavy on my chest
like unanswered prayers.
I moved through hours like a ghost in my own life,
speaking when required and
attempting to smile where I should.
I’ve questioned everything.
My choices. My timing. My worth.
I am constantly tired and not just in body,
but in spirit.
I’ve had a horrible week.
I’ve cried myself to sleep every night.
You can smell the salt from my tears on my pillow.
A heavy weight on my shoulders as I see my mates moving forward.
New jobs, new wins, new milestones while I feel stuck.
Stuck in a limbo from hell.
Not progressing. Not backsliding.
Just frozen in place,
watching life move
like a train I somehow missed.
In fact, I’ve had a horrible month
and it’s my birth month.
The month that was supposed to celebrate me
has instead reminded me of my inadequacy.
Another year older,
but not where I thought I’d be.
I thought I would have arrived by now.
Instead, I am paused.
Suspended between who I was
and who I am meant to become.
I know I haven’t had a horrible life,
but it’s hard to see the positives
inside this big negative
that I am stuck in.