My father randomly calls me all the time,
not by my name, but by an 'ey'
He never liked my name, I suppose,
cause he never seemed to call me by it
Needless to say, I hated it too
My name, it is a nuisance,
misspelled by many,
and thrown around
I am always blamed for the things I haven't done,
for the things I can't change, withstand and control
One word that describes me: Solitude
The people who really know me
also knows how I like to be alone
It's more of a habit than a nature
I stay alone cause I'm used to it
Being an only child is one reason,
being a bullied child is another
And my father didn't like my solitude, indeed
He'd told me, "You'll always be alone forever,
cause you make everyone hate you"
And I thought it true, I am such a fool
I remember, as a child, I've hurt people,
leaving scratches and hitting them
I sliced off a girl's pinky finger once
for calling me ugly in front of the whole class
I never took scissors to school after that day,
understanding that I am my father's daughter,
that I might as well cut their throats open,
for the years of humiliation and darkness
they gave me in return for my loud silence
My mother knew, she'd seen me cry a lot,
but she was as helpless as I was
She didn't pull me out when I was drowning
in the horrible things that happened to me
She didn't hear me when I was burning,
caught on flames that my father started
At ten years old, I dreamed of being a star
but by fifteen, I surrendered, I gave up
All it took was my father's cruel words,
to pierce my heart and shatter me
I stopped looking at my reflection
hoping that one day it'll disappear
I cursed my appetite, ate less
and grew scared of my body
I was called vile names that a father
must never use to call his daughter
I always had bruises on my knees,
from kneeling to god to end my suffering
He answered none of my prayers; I abandoned him
If only these memories would die down
instead of rubbing salt into my wounds
If only my mother was strong,
her rage would've saved me
from all of that damage
If only my father wasn't my father,
he would've been proud of me
and he wouldn't have hurt me
Feb 8
Feb 8, 2026 at 2:42 AM UTC
My father randomly calls me all the time,
not by my name, but by an 'ey'
He never liked my name, I suppose,
cause he never seemed to call me by it
Needless to say, I hated it too
My name, it is a nuisance,
misspelled by many,
and thrown around
I am always blamed for the things I haven't done,
for the things I can't change, withstand and control
One word that describes me: Solitude
The people who really know me
also knows how I like to be alone
It's more of a habit than a nature
I stay alone cause I'm used to it
Being an only child is one reason,
being a bullied child is another
And my father didn't like my solitude, indeed
He'd told me, "You'll always be alone forever,
cause you make everyone hate you"
And I thought it true, I am such a fool
I remember, as a child, I've hurt people,
leaving scratches and hitting them
I sliced off a girl's pinky finger once
for calling me ugly in front of the whole class
I never took scissors to school after that day,
understanding that I am my father's daughter,
that I might as well cut their throats open,
for the years of humiliation and darkness
they gave me in return for my loud silence
My mother knew, she'd seen me cry a lot,
but she was as helpless as I was
She didn't pull me out when I was drowning
in the horrible things that happened to me
She didn't hear me when I was burning,
caught on flames that my father started
At ten years old, I dreamed of being a star
but by fifteen, I surrendered, I gave up
All it took was my father's cruel words,
to pierce my heart and shatter me
I stopped looking at my reflection
hoping that one day it'll disappear
I cursed my appetite, ate less
and grew scared of my body
I was called vile names that a father
must never use to call his daughter
I always had bruises on my knees,
from kneeling to god to end my suffering
He answered none of my prayers; I abandoned him
If only these memories would die down
instead of rubbing salt into my wounds
If only my mother was strong,
her rage would've saved me
from all of that damage
If only my father wasn't my father,
he would've been proud of me
and he wouldn't have hurt me
