I am, I am, I am, I am, I am.
Nothing, everything, crying, creating.
You're my smitten heart like a blood splatter, hug the tree a thousand miles per hour.
I cry everynight for stars so so so far, god why cant you hear me, you make it all, you undo it all. Undo me and show me how, show me how to do what you were made to do.
Colors, shapes, voices, feelings, moaning and laughing and grunting and crying I need it all at once, force it down my throat.
Every single being with a mind will feel my words, pierce the veil between understanding and confusion. My intent is true to the universe.
Write the story, fly into the sun, Dream the world, explode into confetti and yearn for your lover. You're god, I am god, I am me and you are god.
So please dont forget me after my fit is over, brand me into your personality and pass me down to your children, set it down into the history and make life course me through their blood. I am a feeling that is not mine, endless endless endless I cannot describe you.
No story, No painting, No drawing will ever reach you, journey through life where the end is more life. I ******* hate you, you never seem to hold me no matter how much I love you.
Yet you want me, you chase me, you punish me you charm me you undo me. I want to be completely and utterly destroyed by you.
WHY? why death, why undoing, because pain is what touches me the most, pain I feel so unbearably strong above all else, because there is no pain. Menthol tasting walls and white grey and red spaces you need to be shattered for all our sakes.
I am wrong in my ways but please dont let me forget, dont you ever forget, remember, hold on, its fleeting, its leaving you, its always running, feel it and dont let it go, dont sleep, dont cry, dont even smile, feel it, let it feel you, write it down, cry it now.
Dont let this thought die, hold on to it and tattoo it on your skin, you're a martyr and this is your fire, your flagellation your sweet sweet heaven, my blooming flower born from fireworks and half-assed birthday parties.
And when you dream of being an artist, when you drink alone in an empty room, when you hold the pen, the brush the marker and you realise it still evades you, rage. Rage against the walls of your mind and climb over the wall.
Because when I die old, I still will have surmounted to nothing, and it will still evade you, life will run from you and yet you chase it. you're gone now.
Hold me there, cradle me please, for I have been running towards life all of this time, and I live on in your mind, I am your soldier, your disgusting soldier, I eat your enemies like the maw of an encroaching worm. I sharpen my skull against the walls of my cage and I bleed them dry, I take their ideas and I make them mine, and you feed off of me, you drink me in too.
Because this is all this is, our frantic **** of taking each other in, of your beautiful mind and my howling thoughts merging and cracking and shattering into fine dust. Because you will leave me shriveled and used and forgotten after this brief moment.
But I did it, and you'd never even know, I made it now and I reached the endless blue. Because I die here but I live on in you, I change your mind, I see through your eyes, I couldnt be happier, for I am god in a world of men.
Feb 2
Feb 2, 2026 at 7:15 PM UTC
I am, I am, I am, I am, I am.
Nothing, everything, crying, creating.
You're my smitten heart like a blood splatter, hug the tree a thousand miles per hour.
I cry everynight for stars so so so far, god why cant you hear me, you make it all, you undo it all. Undo me and show me how, show me how to do what you were made to do.
Colors, shapes, voices, feelings, moaning and laughing and grunting and crying I need it all at once, force it down my throat.
Every single being with a mind will feel my words, pierce the veil between understanding and confusion. My intent is true to the universe.
Write the story, fly into the sun, Dream the world, explode into confetti and yearn for your lover. You're god, I am god, I am me and you are god.
So please dont forget me after my fit is over, brand me into your personality and pass me down to your children, set it down into the history and make life course me through their blood. I am a feeling that is not mine, endless endless endless I cannot describe you.
No story, No painting, No drawing will ever reach you, journey through life where the end is more life. I ******* hate you, you never seem to hold me no matter how much I love you.
Yet you want me, you chase me, you punish me you charm me you undo me. I want to be completely and utterly destroyed by you.
WHY? why death, why undoing, because pain is what touches me the most, pain I feel so unbearably strong above all else, because there is no pain. Menthol tasting walls and white grey and red spaces you need to be shattered for all our sakes.
I am wrong in my ways but please dont let me forget, dont you ever forget, remember, hold on, its fleeting, its leaving you, its always running, feel it and dont let it go, dont sleep, dont cry, dont even smile, feel it, let it feel you, write it down, cry it now.
Dont let this thought die, hold on to it and tattoo it on your skin, you're a martyr and this is your fire, your flagellation your sweet sweet heaven, my blooming flower born from fireworks and half-assed birthday parties.
And when you dream of being an artist, when you drink alone in an empty room, when you hold the pen, the brush the marker and you realise it still evades you, rage. Rage against the walls of your mind and climb over the wall.
Because when I die old, I still will have surmounted to nothing, and it will still evade you, life will run from you and yet you chase it. you're gone now.
Hold me there, cradle me please, for I have been running towards life all of this time, and I live on in your mind, I am your soldier, your disgusting soldier, I eat your enemies like the maw of an encroaching worm. I sharpen my skull against the walls of my cage and I bleed them dry, I take their ideas and I make them mine, and you feed off of me, you drink me in too.
Because this is all this is, our frantic **** of taking each other in, of your beautiful mind and my howling thoughts merging and cracking and shattering into fine dust. Because you will leave me shriveled and used and forgotten after this brief moment.
But I did it, and you'd never even know, I made it now and I reached the endless blue. Because I die here but I live on in you, I change your mind, I see through your eyes, I couldnt be happier, for I am god in a world of men.
I am sorry for whoever has to read this, but I want this poem to do what it was made to do.