do they know?
that their daughter dreamt of dying?
that their sister wished God would take her?
that their friend lie awake at night, contemplating the idea,
the idea of quiet.
peace.
nothingness.
do they know?
she doesn't like to think these things
but the thoughts won't stop
different days, different intensities, but never fully gone.
lingering.
do they know?
she doesn't want to hurt them,
but she believes her absence an act of altruism.
wouldn't it be better for everyone?
do they know?
daughter, sister, friend.
it could all go away in an instant.
but she'll never do it
and they'll never know, right?
wrong.
now they know.
now everyone knows.
and there's no way back.
if only she hadn't broken.
this secret would have gone with her to the grave (ironic, isn't it?)
too many people now see her true colors:
gray and black and puke green with a splash of chartreuse.
it would have been easier to tell no one.
keep it in the shadows.
but no shadow was big enough for it,
it kept growing,
and expanding,
and covering,
and consuming,
every part of her life.
and eventually
it burst.
it splattered everywhere, got on everything,
and made such a mess.
it will take so much time to clean it up,
but at least it's out.
now they know.
and who knows?
maybe its a good thing that they know.
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 8:30 PM UTC
do they know?
that their daughter dreamt of dying?
that their sister wished God would take her?
that their friend lie awake at night, contemplating the idea,
the idea of quiet.
peace.
nothingness.
do they know?
she doesn't like to think these things
but the thoughts won't stop
different days, different intensities, but never fully gone.
lingering.
do they know?
she doesn't want to hurt them,
but she believes her absence an act of altruism.
wouldn't it be better for everyone?
do they know?
daughter, sister, friend.
it could all go away in an instant.
but she'll never do it
and they'll never know, right?
wrong.
now they know.
now everyone knows.
and there's no way back.
if only she hadn't broken.
this secret would have gone with her to the grave (ironic, isn't it?)
too many people now see her true colors:
gray and black and puke green with a splash of chartreuse.
it would have been easier to tell no one.
keep it in the shadows.
but no shadow was big enough for it,
it kept growing,
and expanding,
and covering,
and consuming,
every part of her life.
and eventually
it burst.
it splattered everywhere, got on everything,
and made such a mess.
it will take so much time to clean it up,
but at least it's out.
now they know.
and who knows?
maybe its a good thing that they know.