I searched for peace
in bodies, in buildings, in borrowed love,
in places that promised escape
and people who mirrored my wounds.
I begged the universe to be gentle with me.
It stayed silent.
No matter how far I ran,
I returned to the same knot of chaos
you tied inside my chest —
tight, relentless, unforgiving.
The pain was not imagined.
It lived with me.
The tears fell like a ritual.
Nights were spent rolling through darkness,
lonely, trembling, undone.
There was no map back to myself.
Only the long ache of becoming lost.
If you could have seen the depth of my despair,
you would have been forced to face yourself.
But you didn’t.
You ran —
and called it survival.
So I learned.
From every bruise you left behind.
From every silence.
From every fracture.
Years of therapy.
Years of truth.
Years of standing still long enough
to hear my own voice again.
I spoke.
I named it.
I sought justice.
I faced you —
and watched your power fall away.
Now my journey is quiet.
Sacred.
Mine.
I walk without your terror.
Sleep without your shadows.
Breathe without your questions.
Carry no more of your guilt or shame.
I have returned it all to you.
And life —
life is a fast-flowing river now,
clear and moving,
carrying me forward
into love,
into peace,
into a happiness I no longer have to chase.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 7:54 PM UTC
I searched for peace
in bodies, in buildings, in borrowed love,
in places that promised escape
and people who mirrored my wounds.
I begged the universe to be gentle with me.
It stayed silent.
No matter how far I ran,
I returned to the same knot of chaos
you tied inside my chest —
tight, relentless, unforgiving.
The pain was not imagined.
It lived with me.
The tears fell like a ritual.
Nights were spent rolling through darkness,
lonely, trembling, undone.
There was no map back to myself.
Only the long ache of becoming lost.
If you could have seen the depth of my despair,
you would have been forced to face yourself.
But you didn’t.
You ran —
and called it survival.
So I learned.
From every bruise you left behind.
From every silence.
From every fracture.
Years of therapy.
Years of truth.
Years of standing still long enough
to hear my own voice again.
I spoke.
I named it.
I sought justice.
I faced you —
and watched your power fall away.
Now my journey is quiet.
Sacred.
Mine.
I walk without your terror.
Sleep without your shadows.
Breathe without your questions.
Carry no more of your guilt or shame.
I have returned it all to you.
And life —
life is a fast-flowing river now,
clear and moving,
carrying me forward
into love,
into peace,
into a happiness I no longer have to chase.