I was so tired of reading this so I deleted the poem sorry....

samantha-neal

Pretend

Jun 5, 2026

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misadventuresofcrow

"When you write in prose, you cook the rice. When you write poetry, you turn rice into rice wine. Cooked rice doesn't change its shape, but rice wine changes both in quality and shape. Cooked rice makes one full so one can live out one's life span . . . wine, on the other hand, makes one drunk, makes the sad happy, and the happy sad. Its effect is sublimely beyond explanation." - Wu Qiao

Your piece is actually prose, more like a journal entry than poetry.
There's prose poetry, too, but that involves leaving something to the imagination - you haven't really here.

Word to the wise: a modicum of subtlety goes a long way. Welcome to HP.

ellie-white