Lucy and Betty sit under hair dryers, flipping through magazines like two queens plotting.
Lucy
(sighing dramatically)
I’m twenty-six today.
Betty
(perfectly serious)
And I will be twenty-one next month.
Lucy
(pauses… lowers magazine)
Betty… sweetheart…
You’ve been “turning twenty-one next month” for the last five years.
Betty
(flips hair)
Consistency is the key to a healthy skincare routine and a believable lie.
Lucy
True. But if we keep subtracting years, soon your birth certificate will just say “pending.”
Betty
Mine already does. The nurse couldn’t write fast enough — I was too fabulous.
Lucy snorts. A lady nearby gasps. Betty smiles victorious.
Lucy
Anyway, between your eternal youth and my magically reversible aging…
there must be at least two desperate men out there
looking for two beautifully attractive lies.
Betty
(smiles like a saint receiving a vision)
Amen.
Lucy
Honestly, if any man asks our real ages—
we should just tell him the truth.
Betty
(shocked)
Lucy!
You want to ruin the mystery?
I’m not telling the truth until the wedding day.
And maybe not even then.
Let him find out during the eulogy.
Lucy
Fair.
And if he asks about me, tell him I’m twenty-six.
Betty
Today?
Lucy
Every day.
They clink their coffee cups like champagne flutes.
Both
To youth…
to beauty…
and to men who don’t ask too many questions.
Hair dryers whir. Lights fade. The lies remain flawless.
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 8:04 PM UTC
Lucy and Betty sit under hair dryers, flipping through magazines like two queens plotting.
Lucy
(sighing dramatically)
I’m twenty-six today.
Betty
(perfectly serious)
And I will be twenty-one next month.
Lucy
(pauses… lowers magazine)
Betty… sweetheart…
You’ve been “turning twenty-one next month” for the last five years.
Betty
(flips hair)
Consistency is the key to a healthy skincare routine and a believable lie.
Lucy
True. But if we keep subtracting years, soon your birth certificate will just say “pending.”
Betty
Mine already does. The nurse couldn’t write fast enough — I was too fabulous.
Lucy snorts. A lady nearby gasps. Betty smiles victorious.
Lucy
Anyway, between your eternal youth and my magically reversible aging…
there must be at least two desperate men out there
looking for two beautifully attractive lies.
Betty
(smiles like a saint receiving a vision)
Amen.
Lucy
Honestly, if any man asks our real ages—
we should just tell him the truth.
Betty
(shocked)
Lucy!
You want to ruin the mystery?
I’m not telling the truth until the wedding day.
And maybe not even then.
Let him find out during the eulogy.
Lucy
Fair.
And if he asks about me, tell him I’m twenty-six.
Betty
Today?
Lucy
Every day.
They clink their coffee cups like champagne flutes.
Both
To youth…
to beauty…
and to men who don’t ask too many questions.
Hair dryers whir. Lights fade. The lies remain flawless.
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