We’re old enough to know better —
but not old enough to stop wanting things
with catastrophic intensity.
Every time you send me a photo,
I make noises normally reserved
for when the waiter brings dessert unexpectedly.
This is not dignified behavior —
and I refuse to fix it.
I don’t pine for you.
I plot.
If the airlines understood what I plan to do to you,
they’d put me on a watchlist.
Listen —
I respect you.
Deeply.
Profoundly.
Spiritually.
But I also want to see how loud
I can make you gasp
before the neighbors file a complaint.
People warn that long-distance love
is unsustainable.
Good.
I have no interest in sustainability.
I want combustion.
I want return-on-investment moaning.
So yes — let October 27 come.
Let it arrive like an alibi I can’t explain to God.
Let it be the day your robe ceases to be polite fabric
and becomes a war crime.
We are mature adults.
We pay taxes.
We own moisturizers.
But the next time I see you,
I’m going to kiss you
like I just got my braces off.
Sep 30, 2025
Sep 30, 2025 at 4:43 AM UTC
We’re old enough to know better —
but not old enough to stop wanting things
with catastrophic intensity.
Every time you send me a photo,
I make noises normally reserved
for when the waiter brings dessert unexpectedly.
This is not dignified behavior —
and I refuse to fix it.
I don’t pine for you.
I plot.
If the airlines understood what I plan to do to you,
they’d put me on a watchlist.
Listen —
I respect you.
Deeply.
Profoundly.
Spiritually.
But I also want to see how loud
I can make you gasp
before the neighbors file a complaint.
People warn that long-distance love
is unsustainable.
Good.
I have no interest in sustainability.
I want combustion.
I want return-on-investment moaning.
So yes — let October 27 come.
Let it arrive like an alibi I can’t explain to God.
Let it be the day your robe ceases to be polite fabric
and becomes a war crime.
We are mature adults.
We pay taxes.
We own moisturizers.
But the next time I see you,
I’m going to kiss you
like I just got my braces off.
