I slip from the low thrum of this dream-
state on the first dawn of a new year, ponder
my dead father's visit: his robust body a vision
of health once more, not a glimmer of glioblastoma
poised to invade his cells, to proliferate
loss in the strange sanctuary of his mind.
Time exists in the in-between, and I feel it
threaten to slip away even as he solemnly coos,
cradles a crying infant I know to be mine; could it
possibly be a sign that this one will finally be
viable? Perhaps this time it could stay, not eye the exit,
entirely too eager to be carried away with the receding tide
I know so well. For once, I will myself to feel it all
fully, a foreign freedom gently nudging me to revel
in each flicker of hope before the unfolding of another
sterile, somber era. I resolve not to think of its high walls
that cloister at first, then eagerly enfold me in a cold,
colorless cocoon. I pause in lemony light as my eyes
adjust to the still shadow of an eclipsed unknowing, at last
allowing the unfamiliar dew of peace to settle upon me
Jul 14, 2025
Jul 14, 2025 at 9:56 PM UTC
I slip from the low thrum of this dream-
state on the first dawn of a new year, ponder
my dead father's visit: his robust body a vision
of health once more, not a glimmer of glioblastoma
poised to invade his cells, to proliferate
loss in the strange sanctuary of his mind.
Time exists in the in-between, and I feel it
threaten to slip away even as he solemnly coos,
cradles a crying infant I know to be mine; could it
possibly be a sign that this one will finally be
viable? Perhaps this time it could stay, not eye the exit,
entirely too eager to be carried away with the receding tide
I know so well. For once, I will myself to feel it all
fully, a foreign freedom gently nudging me to revel
in each flicker of hope before the unfolding of another
sterile, somber era. I resolve not to think of its high walls
that cloister at first, then eagerly enfold me in a cold,
colorless cocoon. I pause in lemony light as my eyes
adjust to the still shadow of an eclipsed unknowing, at last
allowing the unfamiliar dew of peace to settle upon me
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