They describe **** as being torn apart.
Does that mean I'm still whole?
It doesn't seem that way, as the shards of me are still splayed across that bathroom floor.
You attmpt to glue me back together with "It'll be okay"s and therapy,
But the adhesive is weak and ineffective on me.
My skin is not tainted by your touch, but your words,
because every time you told me I was so "pretty" "cute" "beautiful,"
It was when I was **** and doing whatever ****** up thing you had requested.
Now I will never be "pretty" "cute" "beautiful" ever again.
You said you loved me.
It had felt like I was being split from my body.
How could love hurt so much?
Now I will never be loved ever again.
You taught me that the word "no" was meaningless
Because everytimes I had said it,
You pleaded, you threatened,
And I realized I never had a choice in it.
I was your puppet who you could bend and contort however you please.
And even though I was never touched,
I sometimes wish that I had been
So that your fingerprints would be evidence of you violating me.
So that I could prove how you ruined me.
So that this wouldn't have been my fault.
And so I wouldn't have to feel guilty for your disgusting actions.
I know its awful to wish for such great pain, and I grieve for all who had faced it,
But I just want you to be held responsible for what you did.
I want to stop blaming myself for what you did.
I want others - my own ******* parents - to stop blaming that suicidal 12 year old kid you called your "little girlfriend"
- stop blaming that lonely 10 year old girl who had just wanted a friend.
You cut me and left self-inflicted scars,
You tore me open and apart with my own hands,
You took something away from me that can't be replaced,
And now I will never be whole again.
Jan 29, 2025
Jan 29, 2025 at 11:50 PM UTC
They describe **** as being torn apart.
Does that mean I'm still whole?
It doesn't seem that way, as the shards of me are still splayed across that bathroom floor.
You attmpt to glue me back together with "It'll be okay"s and therapy,
But the adhesive is weak and ineffective on me.
My skin is not tainted by your touch, but your words,
because every time you told me I was so "pretty" "cute" "beautiful,"
It was when I was **** and doing whatever ****** up thing you had requested.
Now I will never be "pretty" "cute" "beautiful" ever again.
You said you loved me.
It had felt like I was being split from my body.
How could love hurt so much?
Now I will never be loved ever again.
You taught me that the word "no" was meaningless
Because everytimes I had said it,
You pleaded, you threatened,
And I realized I never had a choice in it.
I was your puppet who you could bend and contort however you please.
And even though I was never touched,
I sometimes wish that I had been
So that your fingerprints would be evidence of you violating me.
So that I could prove how you ruined me.
So that this wouldn't have been my fault.
And so I wouldn't have to feel guilty for your disgusting actions.
I know its awful to wish for such great pain, and I grieve for all who had faced it,
But I just want you to be held responsible for what you did.
I want to stop blaming myself for what you did.
I want others - my own ******* parents - to stop blaming that suicidal 12 year old kid you called your "little girlfriend"
- stop blaming that lonely 10 year old girl who had just wanted a friend.
You cut me and left self-inflicted scars,
You tore me open and apart with my own hands,
You took something away from me that can't be replaced,
And now I will never be whole again.
This one was hard to get out.
First written nearly a year ago, about how i had been sexually groomed and coerced me online when I was 10 and 12 (I had gone back).
I don't mean to be insensitive towards those who have been abused, I know thinking this way is ******
Request permission to use this poem