Which shoes should I wear?

jill_1 Poems

Standing wild-violet-timid in careful shoes, I collapse into Monday. My internal weather is spiky with low-level nausea. Brain fog, mind-cloudy at first, with a high chance of precipitation across the afternoon. Externally, the settling cold front will bring morning squalls before a high-pressure system arrives in the early evening. Difficult to know what shoes are needed for this day, this time, let alone what armour, masks, and steel with this climate, this energy... Hard to predict what will be stored in memory by this mind, this brain... This questionable, yet seldom questioned, recording of events, from my flawed perspective only... Should I attempt to trust myself today? The answer neither clear nor confident Instant reflex shoulder shrug With gaze-avoiding fizzy nerves A patent hint that I may be a trifle less than competent What lens will shape my history today? And will it light me kindly or in glare? When my parts construct the story Hope they break it to me gently But I know that my track record not-so-subtle hints beware If my brain detects a glimpse of faults or glimmers of malfeasance, it will use these torts to make the case that I deserve all grievance from a host of inner parties with a wavering allegiance the impedance to agreeance is a tendence to vehemence, so How will I use the playback from today? I could use it well in kindness or in pain With the re-runs stealing airtime From productive contemplation I could use it as more proof that I should not have trust again… Tomorrow, I will wear my security boots, with stronghold socks.