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"I want to know what love is!" The ballads croon — A yearning I can't dismiss. Seeking love in all the ‘right’ places, But come up short, heart strewn, finding no traces. Straying in dares and when curiosity flares, Overwhelming sensations birth animosity. Pushed down, down, down deep below, dormant, to 'fit in’, the bitter ‘pill,’ I swallow. Much older now, can I claim my truth? A Christian? Does that free me: a rebirth? Am I ‘queer as f#@k’? Can I truly love without feeling stuck? The heart requires courage, But weak am I; keep praying for marriage. Am I a hopeless case? Or will I love and truly embrace? Will I ever be free? To be fully me? Or will I keep denying, and forever friggin' trying to fit the mould told of this world?" f#@k!!! f#@k!!!
0
Jun 8, 2024
Jun 8, 2024 at 10:29 PM UTC
Q as f#@k?!
"I want to know what love is!" The ballads croon — A yearning I can't dismiss. Seeking love in all the ‘right’ places, But come up short, heart strewn, finding no traces. Straying in dares and when curiosity flares, Overwhelming sensations birth animosity. Pushed down, down, down deep below, dormant, to 'fit in’, the bitter ‘pill,’ I swallow. Much older now, can I claim my truth? A Christian? Does that free me: a rebirth? Am I ‘queer as f#@k’? Can I truly love without feeling stuck? The heart requires courage, But weak am I; keep praying for marriage. Am I a hopeless case? Or will I love and truly embrace? Will I ever be free? To be fully me? Or will I keep denying, and forever friggin' trying to fit the mould told of this world?" f#@k!!! f#@k!!!
This is a tortuous personal piece that I want to delete but I am trying to find the courage to sit still in this time and place; hold this space, and grow my capacity.
bekahalle
Written by
40/F/Australia
Jun 8, 2024
Jun 8, 2024 at 10:29 PM UTC
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