You don't need to make
Excuses for me 
Wandering as I do
I’ll see myself through

And though
I've no place in mind
Utopia, heaven, might be lies
or perhaps compromises

This odyssey of earth and time
Is real, mine.

christian-que

In a Crowd, Anywhere

Jun 6, 2026

June 2026

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jack-turner

Hello Christian,

I like the idea behind this poem. The questioning of heaven/utopia fits in very well with the tone set by that first stanza.
I was curious to know if you have a reason for not punctuating that first stanza, and loosely punctuating the entire poem? You don't have to explain to me, but I just want to make sure that you are thinking about it. You can really change the flow and reading based on that alone.
I almost think that this might be even better - if you can come up with the extra four lines - as a sonnett. Maybe not in the truly traditional way, I wouldn't try to rhyme it all, but I think that people might get that idea, and it might hold more strength that way.
Overall, I really like this poem. The tone set from the start, the questioning in the middle, and the way it finishes, and how the punctuation emphasizes that feeling.
Good job

Konstantine