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This is my home now, God knows for how many years more! The stack of books upright arranged in the shape of my dreams looks disorderly and unorganized, Loneliness in the shape of an injured cat Invades the room, meowing, every night, sniffs scattered objects, And eventually rests in my lap effusing air of some stale memories, As the days move on like a tired traveler, The stains on the wall are clearing to my eyes, Sticky notes like land mafias appropriates space from the wall, Che Guvera with a clenched fist returns a red salute, The 'fist' forwarded memory of past, and one by one Dreadful images reemerged in my mind; Mother in hospital bed, pale and weak, gasping for breath, I sat beside her waiting for magic, Several breakups especially the last one that hurt most where I choose this not  her, And last but not least my COMRADE days participating in protests, bearing batons, and living like revolutionaries fighting the corruption in the system, But now I yearn to be part of the system, As this series of pictures end The motivation I consumed earlier, watching twenty minutes long video subsides, And all of a sudden I rummage the bed sheet to look for a hidden pack of cigarettes which I bought yesterday, Choices change as we proceed on in life, I do regret some of my decisions and regret them badly, I have cried at night, Laughed like a hyena, I'm weak feigning to be strong, I see many reasons to quit this task but one that keeps me going on is the picture of an ailing mother dying in a government hospital.
0
Oct 5, 2021
Oct 5, 2021 at 6:43 PM UTC
Tirade of an UPSC Aspirant
This is my home now, God knows for how many years more! The stack of books upright arranged in the shape of my dreams looks disorderly and unorganized, Loneliness in the shape of an injured cat Invades the room, meowing, every night, sniffs scattered objects, And eventually rests in my lap effusing air of some stale memories, As the days move on like a tired traveler, The stains on the wall are clearing to my eyes, Sticky notes like land mafias appropriates space from the wall, Che Guvera with a clenched fist returns a red salute, The 'fist' forwarded memory of past, and one by one Dreadful images reemerged in my mind; Mother in hospital bed, pale and weak, gasping for breath, I sat beside her waiting for magic, Several breakups especially the last one that hurt most where I choose this not  her, And last but not least my COMRADE days participating in protests, bearing batons, and living like revolutionaries fighting the corruption in the system, But now I yearn to be part of the system, As this series of pictures end The motivation I consumed earlier, watching twenty minutes long video subsides, And all of a sudden I rummage the bed sheet to look for a hidden pack of cigarettes which I bought yesterday, Choices change as we proceed on in life, I do regret some of my decisions and regret them badly, I have cried at night, Laughed like a hyena, I'm weak feigning to be strong, I see many reasons to quit this task but one that keeps me going on is the picture of an ailing mother dying in a government hospital.
I don't know how this poem started and I still don't know how it ended. Maybe it's just me restlessly trying to finish this poem
deep3z
Written by
25/Delhi
Oct 5, 2021
Oct 5, 2021 at 6:43 PM UTC
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