It’s a large cavern. A gaping hole—
A black hole.
Slow and fast. Pain and numb. Yin and yang.
The blackened lung. The bust vessel. The mutated cells.
It’s everything and nothing at once.
What is the condition of my heart?
I couldn't begin to tell you.
It’s hope and
it’s anger and
it’s frustration and
it’s a corked bottle on high heat.
Lush leaves. Turquoise lagoon. Iron sky.
Everything looks like it's
filmed through a blue filter, Twilight style—
this is what my heart looks like.
Grey like brain. Serosanguineous like cerebrospinal fluid
collecting from a shunt to a bag from a cracked open skull.
Purple and green and yellow like bruises on
hands that don't have enough platelets to heal.
Teal like an N95 mask. Lilac like a casket spray.
Soft pink like the padding of a wood overcoat.
Grey. Grey. Grey.
This is what you will find if you crack my chest,
spread my diaphragm,
my sternum,
shuffle my lungs.
Sounds like asystole on the monitors, but still
somehow producing electrical currents.
The condition of my heart is cavernous.
A sunset on the east coast; a sunrise on the west.
Bittersweet.
Aug 30, 2021
Aug 30, 2021 at 4:36 PM UTC
It’s a large cavern. A gaping hole—
A black hole.
Slow and fast. Pain and numb. Yin and yang.
The blackened lung. The bust vessel. The mutated cells.
It’s everything and nothing at once.
What is the condition of my heart?
I couldn't begin to tell you.
It’s hope and
it’s anger and
it’s frustration and
it’s a corked bottle on high heat.
Lush leaves. Turquoise lagoon. Iron sky.
Everything looks like it's
filmed through a blue filter, Twilight style—
this is what my heart looks like.
Grey like brain. Serosanguineous like cerebrospinal fluid
collecting from a shunt to a bag from a cracked open skull.
Purple and green and yellow like bruises on
hands that don't have enough platelets to heal.
Teal like an N95 mask. Lilac like a casket spray.
Soft pink like the padding of a wood overcoat.
Grey. Grey. Grey.
This is what you will find if you crack my chest,
spread my diaphragm,
my sternum,
shuffle my lungs.
Sounds like asystole on the monitors, but still
somehow producing electrical currents.
The condition of my heart is cavernous.
A sunset on the east coast; a sunrise on the west.
Bittersweet.
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