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PsychostasisPoems
I don't know how to admit to myself that I miss you. Or that I still love you. Or that I hate you. Every time you come to mind, I find something to distract myself Something to sober my mind Keep my hands busy And my thoughts from running rampant I've reclaimed my life now And things are going to be better, yes But I can't help but think about it Replay it in my brain like an old VHS tape Study it all, moment for moment So I'll stay in my shell And I'll feel my thoughts and feelings in private And I'll wear my smile and tell myself And everyone else That it doesn't hurt That I'm fine That I know it's for the best That I'm doing better without her But the minute I close that bedroom door And I steal a couple of minutes for myself It all begins to crumble. I think about when it's gonna end a lot these days Only most of the time I don't know what "it" is Life These thoughts These feelings This cursed heart on my open and welcoming sleeve has to stop it's drum beat eventually, right? And once it does I'll be safe. I'll be free. And I know carving this Great source of power from my body will leave me weak But I'd rather be weak than be vulnerable
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May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021 at 10:09 PM UTC
Late Night Thoughts
I don't know how to admit to myself that I miss you. Or that I still love you. Or that I hate you. Every time you come to mind, I find something to distract myself Something to sober my mind Keep my hands busy And my thoughts from running rampant I've reclaimed my life now And things are going to be better, yes But I can't help but think about it Replay it in my brain like an old VHS tape Study it all, moment for moment So I'll stay in my shell And I'll feel my thoughts and feelings in private And I'll wear my smile and tell myself And everyone else That it doesn't hurt That I'm fine That I know it's for the best That I'm doing better without her But the minute I close that bedroom door And I steal a couple of minutes for myself It all begins to crumble. I think about when it's gonna end a lot these days Only most of the time I don't know what "it" is Life These thoughts These feelings This cursed heart on my open and welcoming sleeve has to stop it's drum beat eventually, right? And once it does I'll be safe. I'll be free. And I know carving this Great source of power from my body will leave me weak But I'd rather be weak than be vulnerable
#breakup#depression#grief#selflove#hurt#heartbreak#relationships
Written by
Psychostasis
22/M/Nowhere special
May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021 at 10:09 PM UTC
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