I killed myself pretty recently.
It wasn't like all the other times.
This time was more embracing.
More comfortable.
More needed.
I managed to shed my old mold before it could cause me any further pain.
It feels like the first breathe of hot desert air after being buried beneath the sand.
It feels like the cool, salty rush of sea water hitting your eyes after free falling for an unknown amount of time.
It feels like the shaky release of heavy chains from my flesh stripped ankles and wrists
It hurts
It hurts so ******* bad
The freedom
The release
The memories
The new possibilities
And the old, dead ones
The fear
The anger
And as I stand in the road, waiting for these emotions to pass
And realize
I am the endless fork in the endless road and the sole nomad walking it
May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021 at 7:24 PM UTC
I killed myself pretty recently.
It wasn't like all the other times.
This time was more embracing.
More comfortable.
More needed.
I managed to shed my old mold before it could cause me any further pain.
It feels like the first breathe of hot desert air after being buried beneath the sand.
It feels like the cool, salty rush of sea water hitting your eyes after free falling for an unknown amount of time.
It feels like the shaky release of heavy chains from my flesh stripped ankles and wrists
It hurts
It hurts so ******* bad
The freedom
The release
The memories
The new possibilities
And the old, dead ones
The fear
The anger
And as I stand in the road, waiting for these emotions to pass
And realize
I am the endless fork in the endless road and the sole nomad walking it