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I tend to push away what comes too close to me. I know I will regret it, though I just let it happen, I always do. I don't know what it means. Are things going too fast, or is it me, who is too slow again? Every now and then I feel that I can't keep up with the world it's spinning so fast. I can't keep up with my thoughts, they spin too fast, without any clear direction. My heart needs protection, my head just implodes. I have this evil fire within me, its screams frantically, I can't control it. I reject, I reject, I reject until there's nothing left to reject, until there are only things to regret. I own a collection of those regrets, they are staring at me, lustfully, from the dusty shelves of my better self. I don't know what it means. There are too many things that went wrong. I've never grown strong enough to fight this fire. It suffocates and burns until my pain turns into disgust. I don't even trust myself, so how can I trust you? What was close split, and there is not a bit that stayed. This puts gasoline on my fire. I really admire how you try to love me, it's just above me why anyone would waste their time. I don't know what it means. I'm suffocated by fear, I choke on near- ness, I deserve less than offered to me.
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Jun 28, 2010
Jun 28, 2010 at 1:50 PM UTC
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I tend to push away what comes too close to me. I know I will regret it, though I just let it happen, I always do. I don't know what it means. Are things going too fast, or is it me, who is too slow again? Every now and then I feel that I can't keep up with the world it's spinning so fast. I can't keep up with my thoughts, they spin too fast, without any clear direction. My heart needs protection, my head just implodes. I have this evil fire within me, its screams frantically, I can't control it. I reject, I reject, I reject until there's nothing left to reject, until there are only things to regret. I own a collection of those regrets, they are staring at me, lustfully, from the dusty shelves of my better self. I don't know what it means. There are too many things that went wrong. I've never grown strong enough to fight this fire. It suffocates and burns until my pain turns into disgust. I don't even trust myself, so how can I trust you? What was close split, and there is not a bit that stayed. This puts gasoline on my fire. I really admire how you try to love me, it's just above me why anyone would waste their time. I don't know what it means. I'm suffocated by fear, I choke on near- ness, I deserve less than offered to me.
June 28th, 2010 Copyright by A. S. Wrights
Written by
a-s-wrights
German
Jun 28, 2010
Jun 28, 2010 at 1:50 PM UTC
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