why do i only make rules for me?

sophiemechaune Poems

Picking at my own skin But of course I can't win I can't peel away the parts of me When it's not a reality I’m seeing. My own deception The rules that fabricate Personal rejection Like I don’t want to love this face. In my imagination Joy can exist Until the outside looks in Like an evaporating mist My peace begins to twist And suddenly I’m judging Every inch around my wrist. I could break my own rules I could force myself in tense recovery But I fear that healing Won't feel as good as peeling Away at what could be okay. I'm in love with the grip I romanticize my crypt Even while I’m wasting away There's no more blood left to lay At my own altar I pray But I’m wasting away