I sit here, now,
on my porch faraway from that place that I had called home,
away from the hate,
pain,
and depression that had festered inside me.
But I sit here,
also faraway,
from the smell of the sweet honeysuckle
that would grew savagely on the wooden fence.
I sit faraway from the shimmering dew
that I so loved when laying out in the open country
for acres and acres that was my backyard.
I sit faraway from the luminous sky
that had so often taken me as a lover would in its never-ending arms.
I sit here in Long Island, New York
with a husband and no children to fill my ears.
I say now to myself,
a woman of twenty
that I only ran from one hell
to become so trapped within another.
Chad.
That’s his name. My husband.
We ran away together when I was seventeen
to New York so we could become husband and wife.
How was I to know that life would turn out like this?
I bet your asking yourself, “Does he beat her?”
No.
No. He doesn’t beat me. He wouldn’t dare.
But instead he does something else;
he hurts me, but in my heart.
Just like my daddy did.
I never thought that I could love someone so much as I love Chad.
Every time I see him
I can feel my heart skip a beat.
Its as if I were seventeen again when we first meet.
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 3:11 PM UTC
I sit here, now,
on my porch faraway from that place that I had called home,
away from the hate,
pain,
and depression that had festered inside me.
But I sit here,
also faraway,
from the smell of the sweet honeysuckle
that would grew savagely on the wooden fence.
I sit faraway from the shimmering dew
that I so loved when laying out in the open country
for acres and acres that was my backyard.
I sit faraway from the luminous sky
that had so often taken me as a lover would in its never-ending arms.
I sit here in Long Island, New York
with a husband and no children to fill my ears.
I say now to myself,
a woman of twenty
that I only ran from one hell
to become so trapped within another.
Chad.
That’s his name. My husband.
We ran away together when I was seventeen
to New York so we could become husband and wife.
How was I to know that life would turn out like this?
I bet your asking yourself, “Does he beat her?”
No.
No. He doesn’t beat me. He wouldn’t dare.
But instead he does something else;
he hurts me, but in my heart.
Just like my daddy did.
I never thought that I could love someone so much as I love Chad.
Every time I see him
I can feel my heart skip a beat.
Its as if I were seventeen again when we first meet.
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