I think I want to bleed again.
My insides feel hollow
Empty, but like there's something there
That needs to spill out.
I've made myself numb
Denial pressed onto my old wounds
Like bandages.
I haven't let myself hit rock bottom in months
Convincing myself, time and again
That, not only would it be okay
But none of it was ever real
In the first place.
I've worn my struggles on my sleeve
Like an attention ***** badge
Become the poster girl
For overcoming.
I've tried shedding my old skin
Spreading bits of my new self
All over everything
All in an attempt to show everyone
That I'm not who I was anymore.
I've convinced myself of tomorrow
Where all those hideous things
Are reflections in my rearview mirror.
I've fallen in love
With the idea of life going on
Because surely
The truly awful things
Won't keep happening to me.
Now I remember
That I'm a fake.
Today's my day
To fall back down.
I think I need to bleed again.
Sep 7, 2020
Sep 7, 2020 at 2:01 PM UTC
I think I want to bleed again.
My insides feel hollow
Empty, but like there's something there
That needs to spill out.
I've made myself numb
Denial pressed onto my old wounds
Like bandages.
I haven't let myself hit rock bottom in months
Convincing myself, time and again
That, not only would it be okay
But none of it was ever real
In the first place.
I've worn my struggles on my sleeve
Like an attention ***** badge
Become the poster girl
For overcoming.
I've tried shedding my old skin
Spreading bits of my new self
All over everything
All in an attempt to show everyone
That I'm not who I was anymore.
I've convinced myself of tomorrow
Where all those hideous things
Are reflections in my rearview mirror.
I've fallen in love
With the idea of life going on
Because surely
The truly awful things
Won't keep happening to me.
Now I remember
That I'm a fake.
Today's my day
To fall back down.
I think I need to bleed again.