I've been feeling quite gray;
this feeling of needing to go away.
Waves of darkness floor over me
like blood on the floor, sinking towards the sea.
I feel stuck in loops
and it doesn't help being surrounded in groups
of people that don't even see me
why can't I be happy?
I've worked so ******* hard
to act like I've won with this hand of cards
but I just keep sinking; sinking into this endless void
of being at the top of the world to being destroyed.
I've been feeling quite black,
because maybe I lack
that certain trait that lets other's move on
instead of being stuck in this cycle of feeling disconnected and gone.
Some days I am fine, and the tides are high
And others it feels like my oceans are dry. Why?
Why can't I feel unless it's my blood on the floor?
Everyday tasks are starting to feel like a chore.
And I'm sitting her, basket in hand, watching pelicans soar
in the vast blue sky as I sit on the shore.
But I can't hear their salty calls
and I can't feel the way the ocean's sound make me fall.
And I can't touch the walls of a nearby cave
without wanting the ocean to be my own grave.
I've been feeling quite white.
And not the one where you life is full of light.
The one that is empty and static;
the one where dust builds up in the attic.
I can't feel when I cry, it's just tears running down
like a tsunami flooding an innocent town.
Except the town is known for the blood it sheds
and these voices sing in the night, do they want me dead?
It is a black and vile canvas covered in something pure
Maybe to mask; maybe to lure.
And all that it does is make people drown
With it's lovely songs filling up mind's around.
So like rain, I drip off this forgotten leaf
Or maybe I'm a liar and thief
Maybe all the colors I once had were stolen from an ocean's reef
So I sink into this sea of blood, hoping to find some relief.
Apr 20, 2020
Apr 20, 2020 at 6:45 PM UTC
I've been feeling quite gray;
this feeling of needing to go away.
Waves of darkness floor over me
like blood on the floor, sinking towards the sea.
I feel stuck in loops
and it doesn't help being surrounded in groups
of people that don't even see me
why can't I be happy?
I've worked so ******* hard
to act like I've won with this hand of cards
but I just keep sinking; sinking into this endless void
of being at the top of the world to being destroyed.
I've been feeling quite black,
because maybe I lack
that certain trait that lets other's move on
instead of being stuck in this cycle of feeling disconnected and gone.
Some days I am fine, and the tides are high
And others it feels like my oceans are dry. Why?
Why can't I feel unless it's my blood on the floor?
Everyday tasks are starting to feel like a chore.
And I'm sitting her, basket in hand, watching pelicans soar
in the vast blue sky as I sit on the shore.
But I can't hear their salty calls
and I can't feel the way the ocean's sound make me fall.
And I can't touch the walls of a nearby cave
without wanting the ocean to be my own grave.
I've been feeling quite white.
And not the one where you life is full of light.
The one that is empty and static;
the one where dust builds up in the attic.
I can't feel when I cry, it's just tears running down
like a tsunami flooding an innocent town.
Except the town is known for the blood it sheds
and these voices sing in the night, do they want me dead?
It is a black and vile canvas covered in something pure
Maybe to mask; maybe to lure.
And all that it does is make people drown
With it's lovely songs filling up mind's around.
So like rain, I drip off this forgotten leaf
Or maybe I'm a liar and thief
Maybe all the colors I once had were stolen from an ocean's reef
So I sink into this sea of blood, hoping to find some relief.
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