I used to think that I didn't need anyone.
I used to think that I could be complete, alone.
Trying to shut my eyes to the frozen shards in my heart-
Will I become blind?
But-I was lonely.
I was sad.
*I wanted to try, even once-
what it felt like, what love was.*
I was always by myself, watching from an overreaching balcony as society passed by.
I swore that I would be complete alone,
But my body refused to accept that fact.
The sunset that I saw was stunning, that's for certain,
but to call it love,
would be a disgrace, wouldn't it?
I've always wanted to tell a special person,
who've I've been gasping for on that painfully cold winter night-
huddled up like that-
"I'll never go back to that cold world again."
And, sometimes, sitting on the window rail,
I wonder.
Is love warm?
Is love bitter?
Stunning?
Is it beautiful-
or is it different for every heart?
"And,
let's go exploring.
If it rains, let's play a game."
Such times
were meant to go on forever,
really.
But-
to be honest, I am scared of love.
That frightening concept of brutal heartbreak and
dangerous happiness,
do I deserve such things?
When my heart finally stops beating-
I want to leave,
knowing that I was truly happy.
Until the time I can no longer be myself
I wonder just how many times I can still say "I love you" and not cry.
So let me be grateful for the fact that I can be here-
Thank you, simply for the fact that I'm alive.
With no one here, will the world wither?
Who is left-
Will they say the world's final confession?
And I wonder,
when I meet the destined person, will I know?
I guess, to make sure, I won't let go of anyone.
I've always wished for spring.
Because I was so afraid of that cold world, covered in white-
I curled up in a tight ball,
huddled against the raging sleet,
I never took a good look at it.
The soft snowflakes falling silently,
The beautiful forest that was as beautiful as a white lily-
If you have a special person to share it with,
I think-
This white world can be inexpressibly beautiful.
May 12, 2013
May 12, 2013 at 1:57 PM UTC
I used to think that I didn't need anyone.
I used to think that I could be complete, alone.
Trying to shut my eyes to the frozen shards in my heart-
Will I become blind?
But-I was lonely.
I was sad.
*I wanted to try, even once-
what it felt like, what love was.*
I was always by myself, watching from an overreaching balcony as society passed by.
I swore that I would be complete alone,
But my body refused to accept that fact.
The sunset that I saw was stunning, that's for certain,
but to call it love,
would be a disgrace, wouldn't it?
I've always wanted to tell a special person,
who've I've been gasping for on that painfully cold winter night-
huddled up like that-
"I'll never go back to that cold world again."
And, sometimes, sitting on the window rail,
I wonder.
Is love warm?
Is love bitter?
Stunning?
Is it beautiful-
or is it different for every heart?
"And,
let's go exploring.
If it rains, let's play a game."
Such times
were meant to go on forever,
really.
But-
to be honest, I am scared of love.
That frightening concept of brutal heartbreak and
dangerous happiness,
do I deserve such things?
When my heart finally stops beating-
I want to leave,
knowing that I was truly happy.
Until the time I can no longer be myself
I wonder just how many times I can still say "I love you" and not cry.
So let me be grateful for the fact that I can be here-
Thank you, simply for the fact that I'm alive.
With no one here, will the world wither?
Who is left-
Will they say the world's final confession?
And I wonder,
when I meet the destined person, will I know?
I guess, to make sure, I won't let go of anyone.
I've always wished for spring.
Because I was so afraid of that cold world, covered in white-
I curled up in a tight ball,
huddled against the raging sleet,
I never took a good look at it.
The soft snowflakes falling silently,
The beautiful forest that was as beautiful as a white lily-
If you have a special person to share it with,
I think-
This white world can be inexpressibly beautiful.
