I always beg you not to leave me.
I get angry, I get sad, I get afraid.
I sacrifice and sacrifice, until I think I've got no more to give up.
And then I give up more
Just to try and be absolutely sure
You won't walk away from me.
But darling... underneath I've known for a while
That all of that
Although intense, although real as an idea is
Soon as it's spoken,
Is merely a wrapping for another knowledge entirely.
The knowledge that makes me sad to look at you.
My love, you're gonna grow up,
You'll marry,
And have 2.5 kids.
You'll live, like people tend to do,
And yes, you'll do it without me-
I'm too peculiar for you.
Much too curious, much too much.
I'll be a flame that flairs and fades,
Too hot to touch
Before I'm gone.
And you'll live luke warm the way that's safe.
Nothing wrong with being how you should,
But you'd want to love someone who also could.
You see, the fear that's gnawing at me
Isn't that you'll walk away, my love,
Or even run fleeing like you did.
My fear is in knowing that the day I choose to accept it,
I will have already left you
Far behind.
That I will go on,
Have
Gone on,
And become so much more
Than just the girl who loves you,
Than just the girl who could worship at your feet.
For I did so, I do so,
Knowing already that I am worlds beyond.
I'm sad, I'm homesick, for you, my dear.
I hurt me, I hurt you,
So that I won't have to face that I'm
Missing you already,
Because I'm already gone.
And sometimes not even love like mine's enough-
Once I accept I've left,
I can feel that even if I try
I'll never be back.
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 11:54 AM UTC
I always beg you not to leave me.
I get angry, I get sad, I get afraid.
I sacrifice and sacrifice, until I think I've got no more to give up.
And then I give up more
Just to try and be absolutely sure
You won't walk away from me.
But darling... underneath I've known for a while
That all of that
Although intense, although real as an idea is
Soon as it's spoken,
Is merely a wrapping for another knowledge entirely.
The knowledge that makes me sad to look at you.
My love, you're gonna grow up,
You'll marry,
And have 2.5 kids.
You'll live, like people tend to do,
And yes, you'll do it without me-
I'm too peculiar for you.
Much too curious, much too much.
I'll be a flame that flairs and fades,
Too hot to touch
Before I'm gone.
And you'll live luke warm the way that's safe.
Nothing wrong with being how you should,
But you'd want to love someone who also could.
You see, the fear that's gnawing at me
Isn't that you'll walk away, my love,
Or even run fleeing like you did.
My fear is in knowing that the day I choose to accept it,
I will have already left you
Far behind.
That I will go on,
Have
Gone on,
And become so much more
Than just the girl who loves you,
Than just the girl who could worship at your feet.
For I did so, I do so,
Knowing already that I am worlds beyond.
I'm sad, I'm homesick, for you, my dear.
I hurt me, I hurt you,
So that I won't have to face that I'm
Missing you already,
Because I'm already gone.
And sometimes not even love like mine's enough-
Once I accept I've left,
I can feel that even if I try
I'll never be back.
