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troutcactiPoems
I’m not an earthling I am here to see what is alive I couldn’t breathe, my own mucus can still choke me It’s this horrible feeling that nobody else gets My skin is so thin The illnesses inside my brain The overwhelming laughter, mental sound My judgment is not right I make a fool of myself I cling to someone incessantly Why is it only serious On a dark application? And not everywhere else? How many copies Will I make of myself before My mind implodes and the mucus overruns me From both the nervousness and the excitement They say decay I see the breaks get taken here My influences break my ears and spill sappy I didn’t understand I have an urge to delete Something that makes other people happy I never bring them joy My voice is over here I can’t read a book Where does this urge come from? Does doing it make me strong? A boy once said I only care About myself, not others I just dismissed it as not true But now I see it I’m so used to Following rules When I break them, I don’t realize It’s so hard to Sustain merely myself I try not to wrong you but I can’t right you, either Crank up the volumes that Exist solely in my head They say you can’t turn that **** up But sometimes I’m in this state Where it’s like a mental **** Sounds attacking me The ringing of a doctor’s office And the tool that they used Planted permanently
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Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 6:26 PM UTC
Tinnitus and bad moods
I’m not an earthling I am here to see what is alive I couldn’t breathe, my own mucus can still choke me It’s this horrible feeling that nobody else gets My skin is so thin The illnesses inside my brain The overwhelming laughter, mental sound My judgment is not right I make a fool of myself I cling to someone incessantly Why is it only serious On a dark application? And not everywhere else? How many copies Will I make of myself before My mind implodes and the mucus overruns me From both the nervousness and the excitement They say decay I see the breaks get taken here My influences break my ears and spill sappy I didn’t understand I have an urge to delete Something that makes other people happy I never bring them joy My voice is over here I can’t read a book Where does this urge come from? Does doing it make me strong? A boy once said I only care About myself, not others I just dismissed it as not true But now I see it I’m so used to Following rules When I break them, I don’t realize It’s so hard to Sustain merely myself I try not to wrong you but I can’t right you, either Crank up the volumes that Exist solely in my head They say you can’t turn that **** up But sometimes I’m in this state Where it’s like a mental **** Sounds attacking me The ringing of a doctor’s office And the tool that they used Planted permanently
Written by
troutcacti
Chicago
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 6:26 PM UTC
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