We sit in these walls
With a million doors pressing closed
They close until you stand up
and pry with your ****** fingers
at least one door open
Even a crack can let in the light.
Im sick of prying with ****** fingers - I want this door flung open now!
Ive felt a few feelings in my life
None that didn't do me help
None that didnt lead me to this exact thought.
**** this im ******* done!
Ive discovered who and what
Its the where and how thats staggering
In circles in front of me
Running like the headless chicken
That i assume is me
But its not
Im in full spectrum
At least i honestly feel like i am
Ive been tricked into a destiny that has no piece in my puzzle
And i have to be brave enough to be all my own parts
That's what they all fear the most
Let be those
Who judge you
Pretending is the hardest game
And im not its number one player
I know thats ok
Its ok
Ive done my mending and changing - as i grow towards my light
How do i do all this ****
Its confusing
Its bothering
How do you try sow new seeds
Or even mend to the old ones
when someone took a great fat stinking **** in your garden?
I suppose
You have to shovle the **** out
Repurpose it into a sort of fertilizer
Yet i still need to source the mud
& some how you got to keep those seeds safe
& the few buds you have,
some how they need to stay alive
And its wrenching my heart
& i want to pull it out of my chest
& lay it down in some tool box
Perhaps for hands that know how to do with it better.
May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 4:31 AM UTC
We sit in these walls
With a million doors pressing closed
They close until you stand up
and pry with your ****** fingers
at least one door open
Even a crack can let in the light.
Im sick of prying with ****** fingers - I want this door flung open now!
Ive felt a few feelings in my life
None that didn't do me help
None that didnt lead me to this exact thought.
**** this im ******* done!
Ive discovered who and what
Its the where and how thats staggering
In circles in front of me
Running like the headless chicken
That i assume is me
But its not
Im in full spectrum
At least i honestly feel like i am
Ive been tricked into a destiny that has no piece in my puzzle
And i have to be brave enough to be all my own parts
That's what they all fear the most
Let be those
Who judge you
Pretending is the hardest game
And im not its number one player
I know thats ok
Its ok
Ive done my mending and changing - as i grow towards my light
How do i do all this ****
Its confusing
Its bothering
How do you try sow new seeds
Or even mend to the old ones
when someone took a great fat stinking **** in your garden?
I suppose
You have to shovle the **** out
Repurpose it into a sort of fertilizer
Yet i still need to source the mud
& some how you got to keep those seeds safe
& the few buds you have,
some how they need to stay alive
And its wrenching my heart
& i want to pull it out of my chest
& lay it down in some tool box
Perhaps for hands that know how to do with it better.
Thoughts on growing thicker skin
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