If you annoy a Sicilian woman
She will fling herself at you shrieking,
Her hair and eyes wild with rage; she’ll plunge a dagger
Into your heart three times before you fall
And then she’ll spit on your corpse and curse your memory
If you annoy a French woman
She will fling at you a stiletto heel
Or a saucepan (with sauce veloute’, oui!)
Either one will take you down, mon ami
And then she’ll dial a friend for company
If you annoy a Russian woman
She will make a discreet telephone call
And when in spring the ice of the Neva thaws
Your frozen body will at last pop up
And then she’ll write a poem in your memory
If you annoy an English woman
She will smile sweetly, and poison your tea
And as you collapse, gasping desperately for breath
She will smile again, and ask if anything’s wrong
And then she’ll ring for Jeeves to tidy up
Finally:
A Canadian woman (I’m telling no tales) -
You mess with her, and you’re bait for the whales!
-fin- (so to speak)
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 3:51 PM UTC
If you annoy a Sicilian woman
She will fling herself at you shrieking,
Her hair and eyes wild with rage; she’ll plunge a dagger
Into your heart three times before you fall
And then she’ll spit on your corpse and curse your memory
If you annoy a French woman
She will fling at you a stiletto heel
Or a saucepan (with sauce veloute’, oui!)
Either one will take you down, mon ami
And then she’ll dial a friend for company
If you annoy a Russian woman
She will make a discreet telephone call
And when in spring the ice of the Neva thaws
Your frozen body will at last pop up
And then she’ll write a poem in your memory
If you annoy an English woman
She will smile sweetly, and poison your tea
And as you collapse, gasping desperately for breath
She will smile again, and ask if anything’s wrong
And then she’ll ring for Jeeves to tidy up
Finally:
A Canadian woman (I’m telling no tales) -
You mess with her, and you’re bait for the whales!
-fin- (so to speak)
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is:
Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com.
It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.
Lawrence Hall’s vanity publications are available on amazon.com as Kindle and on bits of dead tree: The Road to Magdalena, Paleo-Hippies at Work and Play, Lady with a Dead Turtle, Don’t Forget Your Shoes and Grapes, Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go, and Dispatches from the Colonial Office.