I'm sitting, on my bed, I just woke up
Have to turn off my alarm, already stressed enough
I take it, feel the horrid taste in my mouth
As I make it drown, with the water that last night I left out
Flushed down, it should hold any second
I take a breath and
Ask myself the burning question...
Why the **** am I depressed then?
Flashbacks to times I couldn't sleep
Crying to myself, why the **** is it I feel weak?
Why the **** is it me? Why do I feel empty?
Hollow hearted, where has it departed, I feel so lonely!
Gaps in my memory and gaps in its effectiveness
I still wear a smile just to feel like I'm rejecting it
Placebo effect and pretend that I'm still proud of me
But see this shrouding me? You're **** right you should've doubted me!
Fifteen minutes of reminding myself I'm nobody special
It feels like ten years on Death Row
Berating myself, why aren't I better, why can't you hold hope?
A vicious cycle on a motorcycle, kick the chair and let go!
I still have thoughts of suicide
In the short time it takes for me to find my lifeline
Here it comes, thanks for the pickup
The only time I can say I'm thankful that I took drugs
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 4:28 AM UTC
I'm sitting, on my bed, I just woke up
Have to turn off my alarm, already stressed enough
I take it, feel the horrid taste in my mouth
As I make it drown, with the water that last night I left out
Flushed down, it should hold any second
I take a breath and
Ask myself the burning question...
Why the **** am I depressed then?
Flashbacks to times I couldn't sleep
Crying to myself, why the **** is it I feel weak?
Why the **** is it me? Why do I feel empty?
Hollow hearted, where has it departed, I feel so lonely!
Gaps in my memory and gaps in its effectiveness
I still wear a smile just to feel like I'm rejecting it
Placebo effect and pretend that I'm still proud of me
But see this shrouding me? You're **** right you should've doubted me!
Fifteen minutes of reminding myself I'm nobody special
It feels like ten years on Death Row
Berating myself, why aren't I better, why can't you hold hope?
A vicious cycle on a motorcycle, kick the chair and let go!
I still have thoughts of suicide
In the short time it takes for me to find my lifeline
Here it comes, thanks for the pickup
The only time I can say I'm thankful that I took drugs
Request permission to use this poem