It was summer when I realized the mess I got myself into
The way our so called friendship made me feel, like a numb cadaver
And your presence was the thing to shift between my moods
And how I couldn't stand a single look at you
Your mind is damaged and it shows
And your body isn't the case, you know?
Your looks aren't priority, though it sometimes may be the cause of averting my eyes
I guess I should've known better than making a deeper cut
“Why” you may ask
What have you done, something so horrible
I wouldn't give you a single glance with my bloodshot eyes
And cringe whenever you try to touch me
I misunderstood the whole situation
I never thought you could get so clingy and attached
So instead of giving you what you want I
Gave you what I need, sweet separation like for Siam's sisters
Maybe it was harsh, maybe it was blunt
That when I confronted you, it slit your throat
And you cried into your hands while I didn't shed a tear
Didn't show how it hurt because at that time I felt nothing
I still do, I feel the nothingness to your mind, body and soul
But you seem to come back, though I want you to leave me alone
And your company drives me places I don't want to be ever again
Because they scream ****** right into my face
I probably killed a part of your little poor self with these scissors
I used to cut the ties connecting us when it was a new moon
Night, when I wished you'll forget about the kiss
That wasn't meant to be done in my light headed state
You know what?
I got rid of the orange ChapStick
I hate “french lessons” how we called it
And I'd rather cut my lips than to ever connect them with somebody's again
And now more than ever I know
That cutting the ties was the best decision
And now more than ever I appreciate
That homophobic grandpa who interrupted
When we came for a second try
Because without that happening I'd probably lose my mind
You know I'm the one to believe my crows
When they say what they've heard and seen
I know it's not a lie, yet there's someone I little hold in doubt
For saying something about you, how you said what I've done
If what they say is true, shame on you
I thought you had the decency to keep it a secret
One thing, two things, doesn't matter how many
You said everything I wanted you not to share
And you did it even before
When we were “friends”, by the way
And from innocent mistake you made lustful charade
How dare you use me like that, making me seem less than I already am?
You knew I didn't feel a thing around you
Everyone knew
So did you feel the urge to feed your ego on
Being “the one”
I lost my barrier with
I made out wildly with
I felt deep connection with
I'd share my heart with
Don't make me laugh, this is pathetic
I don't know what you wanted out of this
But I can tell it's nothing I would want
Yes, this seems selfish but it's not like I care anymore
Not because you hurt me, not in a slightest
I am invincible to those “romantic” tricks, remember?
I don't care anymore because I lost hope in you
And I lost trust in you, oh, how bruised it is
So, we will have a talk, one last time
And who knows, maybe I'm just falsely accusing you
Or maybe I'll walk out with scissors covered in blood
Gently dripping to the floor, making a river, flowing away with silent whimper
“I'll never let go” like that cheesy Titanic quote
What a shame I already did, many times before
But as I said, I don't really care anymore
Doesn't matter how many times you'll try, I'll just cut you some more
So, we had a talk
And you said the exact opposite of what I've heard
I'm confused, what is the truth?
I can't decide who's throwing dirt on who
But I'm tired of everything
I'm tired of trying to find out who lies to me
All I want is to know how it really was
You two need to talk and make up your minds
Before talking to me
Probably feeding me with more lies
Dec 25, 2018
Dec 25, 2018 at 12:36 PM UTC
It was summer when I realized the mess I got myself into
The way our so called friendship made me feel, like a numb cadaver
And your presence was the thing to shift between my moods
And how I couldn't stand a single look at you
Your mind is damaged and it shows
And your body isn't the case, you know?
Your looks aren't priority, though it sometimes may be the cause of averting my eyes
I guess I should've known better than making a deeper cut
“Why” you may ask
What have you done, something so horrible
I wouldn't give you a single glance with my bloodshot eyes
And cringe whenever you try to touch me
I misunderstood the whole situation
I never thought you could get so clingy and attached
So instead of giving you what you want I
Gave you what I need, sweet separation like for Siam's sisters
Maybe it was harsh, maybe it was blunt
That when I confronted you, it slit your throat
And you cried into your hands while I didn't shed a tear
Didn't show how it hurt because at that time I felt nothing
I still do, I feel the nothingness to your mind, body and soul
But you seem to come back, though I want you to leave me alone
And your company drives me places I don't want to be ever again
Because they scream ****** right into my face
I probably killed a part of your little poor self with these scissors
I used to cut the ties connecting us when it was a new moon
Night, when I wished you'll forget about the kiss
That wasn't meant to be done in my light headed state
You know what?
I got rid of the orange ChapStick
I hate “french lessons” how we called it
And I'd rather cut my lips than to ever connect them with somebody's again
And now more than ever I know
That cutting the ties was the best decision
And now more than ever I appreciate
That homophobic grandpa who interrupted
When we came for a second try
Because without that happening I'd probably lose my mind
You know I'm the one to believe my crows
When they say what they've heard and seen
I know it's not a lie, yet there's someone I little hold in doubt
For saying something about you, how you said what I've done
If what they say is true, shame on you
I thought you had the decency to keep it a secret
One thing, two things, doesn't matter how many
You said everything I wanted you not to share
And you did it even before
When we were “friends”, by the way
And from innocent mistake you made lustful charade
How dare you use me like that, making me seem less than I already am?
You knew I didn't feel a thing around you
Everyone knew
So did you feel the urge to feed your ego on
Being “the one”
I lost my barrier with
I made out wildly with
I felt deep connection with
I'd share my heart with
Don't make me laugh, this is pathetic
I don't know what you wanted out of this
But I can tell it's nothing I would want
Yes, this seems selfish but it's not like I care anymore
Not because you hurt me, not in a slightest
I am invincible to those “romantic” tricks, remember?
I don't care anymore because I lost hope in you
And I lost trust in you, oh, how bruised it is
So, we will have a talk, one last time
And who knows, maybe I'm just falsely accusing you
Or maybe I'll walk out with scissors covered in blood
Gently dripping to the floor, making a river, flowing away with silent whimper
“I'll never let go” like that cheesy Titanic quote
What a shame I already did, many times before
But as I said, I don't really care anymore
Doesn't matter how many times you'll try, I'll just cut you some more
So, we had a talk
And you said the exact opposite of what I've heard
I'm confused, what is the truth?
I can't decide who's throwing dirt on who
But I'm tired of everything
I'm tired of trying to find out who lies to me
All I want is to know how it really was
You two need to talk and make up your minds
Before talking to me
Probably feeding me with more lies
For a girl who clung onto me rather too much